My Idea of the Ideal Family

It amazes me how things change. When I was young I wanted a big family; now I feel lucky to have any family, but want everyone to be family. The way everything in life is constantly changing, what I believed as a child, even though it may be distorted in many ways now, but the basic concept I had of the world being a wonderful place, people getting along, being happy and good conquering evil is still very much alive.As life has progressed and so much has changed in the world around us all, so has my idea of the ideal family and several of my thoughts of what life for my family should be like; in hopes that someday this family will be a reality.

As a child, I thought very differently about what I wanted my family life to be like. I wanted prince charming to ride up on his white horse, sweep me off my feet and live happily ever after; of course I was a princess back then.I dreamed of having thirteen children, just to be able to prove that the number 13 was not an unlucky number. I never really thought about being rich, but thought I would live in a big house, at least big enough to accommodate all thirteen children, my prince, myself and of course all the animals we would have. I figured many dogs and cats, which I assumed would be living in the house; we would have horses and stables, cows and pastures, chickens and coops, and whatever other kinds of animals we would take in, along with whatever was needed to take care of them.

Of course, money was not even thought about for I guess money must grow on trees somewhere, because we were going to have many money trees, being we were royalty, and I cannot forget the white picket fence. Since that time, my ideal family, no longer consist of a mother, a father, thirteen children, many animals, a house with at least ten bedrooms and that fence; as a matter of fact, my ideal family seems to change a little more all the time.In the article “For Better, For Worse: Marriage Means Something Different Now” by Stephanie Coonz, she mentions that traditional marriage has changed, making way for a worldwide disorder and transformation of how people manage their family life. Even though, I have nothing against marriage, I would be the first to support anyone who wants to be married, I might even possibly be married again someday myself; it is just not a requirement for my ideal family, as my ideal family is so much larger and will continue to grow if I am married or not and whoever else is married or not.

It does not matter how much money one has or does not have, if someone lives in a mansion or a shack, one does not even need a home to be in my ideal family. Although, unconditional love for all people and things are still not conditions for my perfect family, I would like to give it to all, to be part of the rock for this family, just a portion to help this family dream of mine become a reality.As Barbara Ehrenrich, says in her article “Are Families Dangerous? ”, that the best families teach love and kindness. Since I believe that good will one day overcome evil, in a matter of speaking, I just hope to give enough unrestricted love to all, that the wickedness, obnoxiousness and all of the nasty, horrible and disgusting actions that some people make, will one day be a thing of the past, along with my old ideas of an ideal family.I keep imagining, if everyone and everything were just one big happy family, which taught unconditional love and kindness to all, what a wonderful world this could be, yet achieving this supreme family has to start somewhere, and since I believe this to be the best way for my idyllic family, then I might as well start it with myself. My conception of absolute love and family may be a dream at this time, but hopefully one day it will be actuality.

My life has evolved from the fairytale stage of just believing for myself and my immediate family, to a much broader stage of dreaming of a complete global family. At the age of fifty- two, I know that many of the conditioned dreams that I had, often, were just not the way my life was to be. I had been married twice and divorced twice before I was twenty-three years old, so the living happily ever after being married life fail short a long time ago.I did find out years ago, that I certainly did not need to be married to love; I did not need anything but to open my heart. Since I left home in my teens and moved away from all of my natural family in my early twenties, I have learned that there is so much more than just one’s own natal family and being from the Bible belt, there were just too many beliefs that my birth family has that I just do not completely agree with, thus religion left a lot to be desired for me, even though I do have a very spiritual side, which has led me to believe in loving all things.

Moreover, believing that everyone and everything is a miracle in its self and being open to any and all things being possible, has definitely had an impact on my thinking, feelings and beliefs about the world and all I see, do not see, know and do not know being a part of this family. People, animals, vegetation, the land, the sky, everything around are amazing; the curiosities of how things work, why things happen, how things happen, just everything are truly astonishing and I really feel a connection with it all, which has led me to believe in this unity.I like the quote “To me every hour of the light and dark is a miracle. Every cubic inch of space is a miracle.

” says Walt Whitman. I realize now what a miracle I am, along with all my biological family, all people and just everything; the adventures, being wonders in themselves are all a part of life and help to lead to my dreams of everything being important parts of this family. Finally, all the changes in life in general, all the events and experiences in each one’s life being what makes each one who they are now and the knowledge we gain each day are other factors, in my change of believing my family to be so much more.I often think about the saying “That two heads are better than one. ” It makes me believe if two heads are better than one, then all heads working together would be the bomb. Everything that happens, our thoughts, our feelings, our interactions are all things we learn from if we realize we are learning or not.

The many religions, all our similarities, all our differences are all things that when put all together make us all one unit.When I do something to help someone or something, I am really helping myself just as much, if not more than what I am doing to help the other. The continuous explosions in life in all the things that are happening, are just gaining in momentum. We all do things every day that help each other, sometimes we might not even think it to be good, but it is still shaping us, bringing us all closer together, as a whole. Life is such a funny thing, our existence in this world, just what I have seen in my lifetime is truly incredible, mind-blowing to say the least.The picture-perfect family for me no longer just entails my wonderful organic family; it involves so much more, all people, objects and things, which has changed from the time of my being a child, mostly because of the experiences I have had, believing in total love for all people and things, all happenings and experiences being marvels of life and the changes in the world and the universe, bring on my thoughts of my ever changing and ever growing family.