Marriage as a social institution has undergone tremendous changes brought about by societal, political, religious and cultural influences. Marriage is a universal concept, different cultures have sanctioned marriage as a means of propagating one’s race and continuing cultural tradition (Benokratitis, 2005). From a social perspective, marriage is the medium in which social norms and expectations are transmitted to the future generations as well as mirror the current economic, political and social influences of that time.
Society still dictates that marriage is an important achievement that each one has to aspire for. Laws have been written to protect marriage and certain benefits are given to those who are married (Strong, DeVault & Cohen, 2005). On the other hand, marriage is probably the most intimate relationship that a person may have with another person. What occur between husband and wife are actually reflections of social expectations and norms.We have this idealized concept of a successful marriage and relationship brought about by social forces that give us a certain model in which to evaluate our own marriages.
Because it is an ideal, it is bound to be nonexistent and we can never find a perfect marriage, only one that works well. This is how my friend characterizes her marriage, she have gone into marriage like any other girl, hoping to have the perfect husband, the perfect marriage and the perfect kids.In almost 10 years of being married she have realized that there is no such thing, right now she earns more than her husband, she basically makes the decisions in their family, she tries to be a loving wife and until now have remained childless though not for lack of wanting to have kids. The thing that amazes me with her relationship with her husband is that she lets her husband take the reigns when it came to external family matters like what car to buy, where to go on vacation, attend community events and even in volunteering. However, when it came to their household, she was the manager.
She is able to keep her house clean, tidy and is always ready to have friends for dinner. I think, my friend and her husband has an egalitarian relationship, both have found their strengths and weaknesses and have tried to build their relationship on that. I guess it comes that my friend is a psychology major and she has been able to apply her theoretical concepts to real life, the couple’s communication patterns are open and functioning really well. Through years of being together they know that communication is the most important thing that would keep their marriage stronger.Not one of them nags, but each try to listen to their point of view and sometimes quarrels and misunderstanding ensues but then they fix it by taking the time to talk about their feelings.
Lest one might think that my friend has the perfect and ideal marriage, she says it is far from it, each day is a work in progress she says. Conventional marriage for me is a thing of the past, I know that in most places the idea of marriage as a male-dominated relationship is very much alive but for our society this has been decreasing.Marriage now is more of a partnership rather than the dominant husband and submissive wife model. Also, wealth and careers are no longer the basis for getting married because women largely have gained economic power and stability (Crompton & Harris, 1999). Women earn more than their husbands and more husbands are stay at home dads, for one there is also the issue of gay marriages and the increasing divorce rate.
Thus, whether we like it or not, marriage is evolving.
