Who I am :
I saw the light on this earth on then my name was given and my father gave my name it was a village in the district of 24pgs, far away from Kolkata, a full green rustic smell can be smelt there even now this has become a model village however I was brought up there played in the field all day long went to school on foot and enjoyed life there full. I belong to family, my parents my five elder brothers and three sisters. Everybody they loved me cared me and I too was their little. My father ran our family with his small income as a private clerk. I never thought of eating anything homemade, I was specially my dear to my elder sister who always looked after me I was given every opportunity to receive their love affection and care. I became little grown up and I was accompanied by my dear elder sister. We were hand to mouth in this financial scarcity and our survival was hard.
My primary and preparatory education:
As I was brought up in a big family so everybody whenever they got time they taught me good things of life. At first I was admitted to a centre in our village at that time it was in vogue to send child to center what is now nursery today when I learnt to recognize my alphabets. Having spent their two years I as a little kid was admitted to a primary school at our village then there was no transport, no facility like this today, so I had to be accompanied by my elders to go to school. I was a good learner at that time teachers had loved me and I learnt many things. however I passed classes ii iii and iv at that time I stood second in my class that made me disappointed I always asked myself why I don’t get first because from my house they always insisted me on being first though to be second in the class made them much happy because it seemed to them that I was better in study.
My admission to high school:
The most nervous phase of my life I have ever spent when I got admitted to class v at, remembered that I along with other boys from different schools and different villages there, everything was unfamiliar to me, more over to see teachers was a night mare . There in the final exam of class v, I got in to acute competition I became fourth in the final exam of class v to six and a deep sorrow engulfed me, it was like I was getting down. Same was the result at class VI to vii but turn came when I became first at my class vii final exam. This left a significant mark in my mind, I was overjoyed though the joy never lasted for long in the sense for the coming three or four years.
My years of struggle:
My struggle as a student of class ix continued. My father took retirement from private job and he had no provision of pension, meager interest he received from bank saving would be used to run our family. My all three elder brothers were unemployed, two of them would do tuition of some 10 or more boys but at that time earning from such activity was not good enough. My mother was worried about what would happen. I had two sisters unmarried when I was at class two my elder sister was married and at my class ix my second elder sister was married. All the savings my father had were spent however all the hardship I had to take up. luckily we had some land and my younger elder brother toiled those land and would cultivate paddy rice which was our whole year food. He could not join school because of this burden. My other elder brother helped little to our family and father hardly could do any work because of his old age so at that time our family sole depended on little agricultural work. Situation became worse when my brother who voluntarily took up the job of agriculture moved some where to search for his luck.
I would see then my father teaching some students to support our family in the mean time my two elder brothers got married and before this, my first elder brother made the most of my father’s reputation and procured a job in private company but staying in a small house, of ten members they shifted themselves to nearby work place. We remained there my parents my two elder brothers, one sister and me among them none had any permanent job. we were then at deep sea. We were then making both ends meet by doing little agriculture. As regard me I was doing my study, all by myself. I was promoted to class 10, my father having keen on education always told me to go ahead; his words were incentive to me. In those days I was in the circle of many good teachers and students.
They were very respect full to me. among the teachers Sunil Krishna Debnath, Asit Ghosh Abani Ghosh Samar Chakra borty Monoranjan Bhoumik I was lucky to have all those teachers they were my all time guru even today I feel their presence, I wished to have been there till my death. All of them have retired from their service. To speak of the students, first is to say that they were much like my soul mate since the year. I had been there, seen many things never thought of going away rather I feel I wish I had seen them around me. By god’s grace I was little good at study so my father always wanted me to do good result. He fancied me to be one of the brilliants, but to my ability I could not give the best satisfaction.
My father had a doctor friend. He would very often take me to him to show me how the guy was. In fact he wanted me to be doctor, so with this dream, he told me to take up sciences so did I, in spite of amidst economic hard up. I had no tuition no proper meal. I can remember we had spent many times without having lunch, or if it was provided, that too two or three breads. Once in a year I had new dress probably during durga puja. To speak of my mother, she would support our family with making Tonga or patting cow dung pancakes, which she would sell and give me money Two years over I passed my h.s, result was little better than madhyamik, at this juncture I was little aimless which way I should go, whether to do bsc or ba in English because I got good marks in English and at the same time I thought of giving jee medical though all went in vain. My second elder brother took me to collage where I was admitted to bsc.
Father fell ill. he had to be admitted to hospital, money spent but father did not get well. Two years later he passed away since then I lost my self. My stray mind did not allow me to anything perfect. I under stood I have to do something so I did. I started doing tuition to different places. My younger elder sister was married selling some portion of our land. The family now had my aged mother, my one elder brother and me. I would help my family as much I could; my mother would do some works with which our family would be run. My one elder brother who lived with us got married and got separated from us because his wife did not want to live together with us.
Some events of my life and my persisting struggle:
Then our family consisted of my mother and me. I worked as a sales man of a whole seller with little payment outside doing tuition at that time. I laughed a lot, sometimes uncontrollably or when it’s inappropriate, and I have some pretty amazing friends with whom I spent many moments and could not realize the clasp of poverty. In this autobiography I’m going to highlight on some of the events in my life that, I believe, have shaped me into the person that I am today. Those days were misery despair and perhaps for this reason I would laugh some time without any reason I can remember having given lecture on Rabindranath and common people in my school. The lecture was up to my standard at that time and got second. Despite all the hard ship I had in my family I could not let other understand the entire problem I had. We had a small house with straw thatched and mud built.
We had a cow shed adjoining to our house where four cows were there. my mother would milk them and sell the milk to different houses. The cowdung was used for fuel and the pancakes made from it were sold. The amount received from it was very small but those were the only means of our living at that time. Another thing my mother was to do to feed us was making tongha, my mother and I would go to buy newspapers which were used to make these things, sometimes I would go to shop to sell them. From all these sources we were able to earn nearly 1200 in a month. In summer when it was very hot outside I felt relaxed under the shed of mango tree we had nearby to our land and in the afternoon when the sky would become zet black I would be delighted with the thought of storm that I would go to pick fallen mangoes, many a time I along with my mother would go to the garden even at night if there was storm. we would collect branches of fallen trees because those were used for fuel.
Those were the part of my life and even in midst poverty we were happy, happy for our simple and most ordinary life. In school I was not a popular boy like what it senses but would mix with everybody, would play cricket football. When I was in classes’ viii, ix and x our team was the champion of school football team I was a player of our team. In this regard I should say one happening which happened during when I was in class viii. Our village football team was to play against our neighboring village football team. I boarded the bus with our football team to go to the field to see the match, I was really excited . The bus was so crowded that I was getting smashed, in the mean while team of our village got down but I could not, conductor made me get down at 10 km distance.
I was then very meek and shy, so there I was crying bitterly, I had no paisa, I was thinking how I could return my home, after nearly 10 minutes I saw a man coming by cycle I implored him to take me to the field he took me to the field, saw our village team win I returned with them at the day’s end. During winter there was the tradition of playing cricket I would play cricket as well, fairly well so many a time I would go to play for other team. Those were huge enjoyment I got. Some time it so happened that I had spent my whole day playing cricket and was then rebuked severely by my mother. She would bitterly say, sona I have none but you please study well try to do something In rainy season our misery was awesome if It would rain for whole day we had no place to sit or stand even we had to spend the day or night standing at the corner and prayed god to stop rain. If there was no work especially on that day my mother would provide me with meager meal that I would eat with much delight. Thus through the hardship and poverty I became little matured. I always inculcated the line by TENNYSON ‘joy and woe are woven fine’
I cannot give all accounts of then life. Only say Time raced away. I became a matured boy of 20 years where ever I look I see vacant only inspiration only joy I get my aged old mother is living with me.