I've never studies IT or business before and I'm not working on IT/business fields or anything related to them. So, I lack the confidence on doing this assignment due to not familiar with it.
From my subconscious mind I always have a strong belief that this course must be too difficult and even may not suitable form me. Therefore, I couldn't decide which technological innovations I want to focus on. I always change the topic. I waste too much time on searching materials and reading books for deciding the topic. I'm not dared to star doing without enough info to back up.
Actually lots of them are not useful for my assignment. The uncertainty made me unbearable. I spent the whole Christmas holiday (14 days) for my assignment. The more the time I spent on working on it. The more anxiety and worried I felt.
This was because no satisfactory I could derive in these 14 days. At the end of the holiday, I still didn't know how to write the essay and even hadn't written a word either. How frustrated! I'm not an easy give-up person. I'm afraid of challenge. I don't mind spending time on a work.
Hence, I didn't take rest during the holiday or go celebration the X'mas and New Year with my friends.I either stayed at home with the computer or went to the library for doing the assignment. However, no matter how much me effort I put in, it seemed that I still no idea about it. I felt guilty for spending so much time on the assignment but still had no any idea on it. I started to murmur myself.
My pessimism created too much pressure for myself. Another important reason for not deciding the topic efficient was due to I am so easily affected by the others. Once I told the topic to my classmates, they said it is to broad. Then, I changed the topic.When I focused on the other topics, they advised me again that the topics I chose was not correct or suitable.
So I had changed the topics for at least 3 times before I made the final decision. Shy to as for help is one of my weaknesses. Actually, there ware many uncertain about the tasks and unclear concept the enquiries since the beginning of the process. However, I was not brave to ask my classmate, tutor or facilitor for help I was afraid that they I might disturb them as the might be too busy to help or the questions I asked were too stupid.
I don't' want to waste the others' time.They would laugh at me and look down on me. I was "over-thought' of the tasks. This created a wrong perception for my understanding of the course context and the tasks. I made things (the tasks) from simple to complicate. Actually, the tasks were not as complicate as I thought.
According to this experience and the weakness I found, I learned how to make further improvement. Before doing a task, I should analysis the questions or problems clearly firstly. When I find something can't be explained by myself or really don't understand, I shouldn't be shy to ask. I should well organize my time. Don't be capricious.
Be confident, optimistic and positive. Learn to let go and don't stick at doing something when it caused negative feelings or impact on me or make me feel exhausted and guilty. No matter how tight the time is and how difficult the task is, I still need breaks. Don't be over-loaded.
Knowledge is infinite. Nobody can guarantee all the problems or questions or tasks one must be familiar with. So, no need to be scared when I come across this situation. Just try my best to do it.
Happiness and enjoyment are the key factors for concentrating on doing the tasks, and the most important to be success.
