In the world today it is obvious that people to not like being alone. From a very young age, school children demonstrate the need to be in the company of others; they do not want to be the one sat alone in the classroom, or the one to be left out of the games in the playground.
As they grow up, each individual looks to be the most popular in the class. The one with the most friends. This may be a search for a feeling of security, or for safety in numbers.Throughout adulthood nothing changes, although the motives behind wanting to be in the company of others may have changed slightly.
Individuals are now looking for a life long partner, and physical attractiveness and love play a huge role in the formation of relationships, whereas as a child, factors such as similarity and liking would of played the bigger part. Lonely heart columns and dating agencies exist to prove that whatever the age, people simply do not like being alone.However there are many factors that could motivate people to seek the company of others. Interpersonal attraction is "a person's desire to approach another individual" (as cited in Franzoi, 2000, p352). Physical attractiveness, proximity, familiarity and similarity are all factors that contribute to the search for the company of others.
It may be that one factor plays a larger part than another, or that they all equally contribute to the formation and maintenance of a relationship.Physical attractiveness appears to be an important aspect of why we like someone and seek their company, despite evidence from surveys conducted over decades that suggest, "that people do not rank physical attractiveness as very important in their liking of other people" (as cited in Atkinson & Atkinson, 2000, p627). Research on actual behaviour shows otherwise, such as the "computer dance" study by Walster et al (66). In this study, 752 students agreed to fill out a questionnaire that they thought would be the basis behind them being given their ideal partner for a dance.However, they had really been randomly allocated a partner.
On arrival, each individual was secretly rated for physical attractiveness. After the dance, students were asked how much they like their date, and if they wanted to see them again. It was found that "Physical attractiveness was the single biggest predictor of how much each date had been liked" (study cited in Cardwell, 2000, p231). The matching hypothesis predicts, "that men and women choose partners who are a 'good match' in attractiveness and other traits" (as cited in Myers, 2002, p427).A study by Murstein (72) supports the matching hypothesis. In this study, 99 photographs of engaged or steadily dating couples were taken and split into two, before being rated for physical attractiveness.
One hundred control couples photographs were also used and rated, in which the control couples were randomly assigned to each other (not real couples). The results showed "that the real couples were consistently judged to be more similar to each other in physical attractiveness than the random pairs" (as cited in Cardwell, 2000, p231).This supports the idea that physical attractiveness contributes to why we search for another persons company. Proximity is the physical or geographical closeness of individuals, and is associated with frequency of interaction.
Both are thought to be extremely important aspects to why people seek friendships. According to Rubin (73), "an examination of 5,000 marriage licence applications in Philadelphia in the 1930's found that one third of the couples lived within five blocks of each other" (as cited in Atkinson & Atkinson, 2000, p628).This view on proximity playing a huge part in our friendships is supported by everyday life. School children are more likely to be close friends with the person they sit next to than the person in another class, simply because they are exposed to them more. Adult relationships are more easily maintained with a partner who lives in the same town/village or one very close by, than they are with a partner who lives a considerable distance away.
The influence of proximity is further demonstrated in a study by Festinger et al (50), (as cited in Franzoi, 2000, p357).The study was based on a block of university flats in the USA. Students had been randomly allocated to the flats, and it was found that people who lived near the stairwell at the centre of the block of flats had more friends than those who lived at the end of the corridor. This was simply due to exposure, or frequency of interaction with other people, and makes proximity one of the most likely reasons as to why friendships are formed.
Familiarity is closely linked to proximity, as the more often you are around someone the more familiar you become with him or her.A study by Zajonc (68), illustrated the belief that familiarity breeds liking. Participants were exposed to pictures of faces, some pictures more frequently than others. They were then asked how much they thought they would like the person in the picture, and results showed that the more frequently they had seen the picture, the more they liked the look of, and thought they would like the person (study as cited in Atkinson & Atkinson, 2000, p629).
This study tends to suggest that it is not just physical attractiveness that plays a part in why we like the look of someone, but that proximity and familiarity, when used together may have the greater influence. Similarity amongst friends and couples seems evident in the world we live in. Celebrities tend to date other celebrities. This may be due to similar lifestyles or similar financial situations. 'Gangs' are formed by school children.
These friendships may form due to the type of clothes they wear, or by the type of music they all listen to.Whatever the reason, it is clear that similar people form friendships. Statistics show that "over 99% of the married couples in the United States are of the same race, and most are of the same religion" (taken from Atkinson & Atkinson, 2000, p629). Further research into married couple as shown the more similar the couple is, the better they get on and the more satisfied they are with their marriage (Caspi and Herbener, (90) as cited in Cardwell, 2000, p232).Self-disclosure is "the revealing of personal information about oneself to other people" (as cited in Franzoi, 2000, p400).
This plays an important part in formation of friendships, and it is thought that women generally self-disclose more than men. Therefore, this may mean that women find it easier to make friends than men. The Social penetration theory by Altman and Taylor (73) "describes the development of close relationships in terms of increasing self-disclosure" (as cited in Franzoi, 2000, p400).It suggests that when first meeting, people discuss superficial topics such as sport or the weather, and self-disclose only as much as each other. If this goes well, they will then discuss more intimate topics and the level of self-disclosure will increase, providing both individuals match the amount of information disclosed.
If one person is more willing to share more information than the other, this has a negative affect causing the willing person to feel threatened, and the development of the relationship to slow.However, according to Archer (79), once past the superficial stage and into the intimate stage of a relationship, self-disclosure is not longer as important, and offering of support and understanding becomes the main focus " (as cited in Franzoi, 2000, p401). Theories exist to explain the reasons for affiliation. The first is the Social comparison theory, which is "the theory that proposes that we evaluate our thoughts and actions by comparing them with those of others" (as cited in Franzoi, 2000, p353).Through social comparison we are able to gain knowledge about ourselves, and the world, and becomes most useful when uncertain about a particular aspect of the relationship.
According to Festinger, "we generally prefer to compare ourselves with similar others" (as cited in Franzoi, 2000, p353), which makes logical sense, as doing so provides more helpful and accurate guidance. Another existing theory is the Social exchange theory. This theory was further developed by Thibaut and Kelley (59) and is "the theory that proposes we seek out and maintain those relationships in which the rewards exceed the costs" (as cited in Franzoi, 2000, p353).It involves 'pay-off matrices' that suggest you are interested in what you give and get in a relationship, and people will resort to selfish measures to ensure they receive more than they are willing to put in (taken from Cardwell, 2000, p238). An alternative theory developed by Homans (58) is the Equity theory, which suggests that people are not selfish, but are realistic. They are searching for a balance in the relationship to ensure stability and fairness (taken from Cardwell, 2000, p238).
Whatever the reason for seeking friendships it is clear that it is an important part of our everyday lives. Whether there is a clear-cut reason for why we want to be in others company, or a mixture of many reasons, is a debate that will probably continue to exist amongst Psychologists for years to come. However, it seems more likely that physical attractiveness, proximity, exposure, familiarity, similarity, self disclosure, social comparison and social exchange are all perfectly adequate explanations as to why people are motivated to be the in the company of other people.
