What is that noise? I hope no one can hear that. It sounds like it is coming from my stomach. I must have skipped breakfast and need a sandwich. The best kind of sandwich to cure the rumbles is of course a peanut butter and jelly sandwich! Also known as a PB&J sandwich, this ancient sandwich has been prepared by mothers for their youngsters for centuries! Now this complex ancient sandwich does not come easy, there is much thought that goes into each and every one that is created.
The first thing I must ask myself is how I want to display this magnificent piece of beauty. Perhaps, an elegant glass plate would be most appropriate. Maybe go with a paper plate and save on dishes for later. But then there is the question of going with the flimsy one ply plate or use the sturdy Dixie plate wear that is sure to fulfill all my peanut buttery needs.
Something to take into consideration is do I really feel ok with throwing that plate in the garbage just to condemn it to a life of solitude in a landfill somewhere?Or go with a personal favorite of mine and just eat it on the fly with my hands. After the serving issue is resolved it is time to get down to the foundation of the sandwich, the bread. Bartz,2 Now there are many different and creative ways to go about this part of the process. The easiest way to get through this step is to break it up into two categories. First being the type of bread that I wish it to be made out of.
I could go traditional and just have plain old white bread; if I was feeling healthy for the day wheat bread is of course my friend.Then again I may be feeling a little south of the border and choose to use a tortilla shell instead. Now comes category number two, what kind of shape to make this PB&J look like? Perhaps I was in a romantic mood a crust less heart shape may suit you perfectly. Today though I may be feeling dangerous, a nice triangle cut is just what I am looking for. Or just eat it uncut, if I am feeling barbaric… after establishing my foundation comes a critical folk in the road.
To put the peanut butter or the jelly on first, that is the question.There are two types of people in this world, those who put the peanut butter on first, and those who put it on second. Obviously the peanut butter goes on first! After establishing this I must then decide which type of the buttery goodness fits me best. Am I wild and crazy like the chunky peanut butter, or calmer and more laid back, much like the creamy peanut butter is. Or maybe I am having some California urges and would like to try the whole organic thing. After realizing my peanut personality it comes time for the jelly dilemma.
To either go with the traditional grape jelly on my PB&J or branch out and try the forbidden Jam. The thought of putting Jam on a PB&J once was unheard of. It was practically sacrilege; however since the new age wave has hit, it is more accepted to put a nice strawberry jam on a sandwich as a grape substitute. This choice may be the most important decision of my afternoon so I Bartz,3 must not tread lightly about this. If chosen wrong my taste buds may spiral out of control and the entire sandwich operation may be ruined.After making this taste altering decision it is time for the most skill demanding part, the combining of the peanut butter half and jelly half.
Now do not worry fellow sandwich architects it takes a skilled and seasoned vet to do this step without getting any peanut butter on the fingers, so for now I will just make sure to wash my hands afterwards. Now we come to what may be the most dangerous part of this process. The cutting of the sandwich (if you are not eighteen please call your guardian to do this part for you) the best knife for this job is a smooth bladed knife.Preferably a butter knife, now I know what you are thinking “well I’m a man, I don’t want to use a sissy knife, I want to use a meat cleaver! ” well my uncle, Eight Finger Larry, would have to disagree with you on this one fellas, better safe than sorry. Now that my sandwich is constructed and cut to my specifications we must pick a venue for me to enjoy this delicious piece of art work. To eat it curled up on the couch while watching spongebob? Or I can be the first person to ever eat one while sky diving! The most practical way though… eat it while writing an analytical paper.
