Romantic Love Is a Poor Basis for Marriage

Love is Blinding It felt as if she were standing in a timeless dream. In Paris, she waited for the not so stranger at a candlelit table by a crescent moon.

The view from the Eiffel tower was amazing as she gazed off; she was so close she could almost touch it. All of a sudden, a familiar figure stepped out from the shadows and startled her. It was who she had been waiting for all along. As he made his way toward her, he took her hands into his. Out of the stillness, soft words were spoken, “We were strangers starting out on a journey.Never dreaming what we would have to go through.

Now here we are, and I am suddenly standing right before you. ” He then gets down on one knee as he retrieves a small ring box from his pocket. Then, he popped the question, “Will you marry me? ” Six months later, they are in divorce court for lack of communication, respect, including infidelity, and financial burdens. They were blinded by romance and rushed into something they were unprepared for. However, it really is not their fault; it just shows that romantic love is a poor basis for marriage.

Oscar Wilde had once stated that, “Men always want to be a woman’s first love—women like to be a man’s last romance. ” Nevertheless, romance and love go hand in hand. It seems it is all that matters in a relationship; at least that is what many people seem to understand. Many people are familiar with the statement, “Until death do us part. ” That means people are bound together for a long and what is supposed to be a beautiful journey.

What people don’t seem to comprehend is that love is not the only thing that is important for this journey.In fact, romantic love is just one of six different types of love. These six types were originally created by John Lee, as he denoted to them as the “colors of love. ” Eros is the proper name for romantic love. People who are quite the Eros type see nothing but each other. Yet, what they see is nothing, but attraction.

They act as if they are in some dreaming state and they are never quite awake. (King, “Love Styles: A Brief Background”) Still, what if those who are in a dream state wake up? What if they see those for who they really are?The attraction will decay into what we know as reality. So what if it’s too late? What if the knot has already been tied? When it comes down to it the fact that anybody would base their marriage off of only romantic love are just setting themselves up for disappointment. When someone ties the knot with someone they just don’t know it leads to problems such as, financial burdens, infidelity, also lack of communication and respect.

In a situation like that the best thing to do is to work together and make it work. Otherwise, divorce might be the best and only option.A great suggestion would be marriage counseling. Although, it may not help many people it does help some.

Kim Kardashian, 31 was married August 2011, but filed for divorce 72 days later. That’s right. Two months, a week, and five days that she has been married to basketball player, Kris Humphries. She made a post on twitter stating, “Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate, w/out them what would shape our lives? ” That statement was beside the point because to many people it was just a scam.

It looks as if it really was because she claimed she loved him, but said things just did not work out.This gives the impression to be common in early ages, because people just fall in and out of love. If there is no stability, it will lead to divorce. (Benson, “Kim Kardashian: Why I’m glad I divorced Kris Humphries”) The divorce rate in the past decade has remained stable in the U. S.

at around 50% for first marriages. The top reason is because of money. Couples wouldn’t be willing to stick together for romantic love, especially if there is a financial burden on them both. However, couples who receive even premarital counseling the chances of divorce would actually decrease.

Another reasonable idea, would be to just marry at a later age when you know for sure you want to be with that person for the rest of your ENTIRE life. (“Divorce Statistics in USA”) Couple Gordon and Norma Yeager were married for 72 years, until a quite fatal car accident. When being hospitalized they shared a room together where they held hands. It seemed as if while holding hands Norma’s heart was beating through Gordon. He proclaimed that he was not going anywhere until she did first. So then, they died together holding hands.

This is what we all call true love.Something that is hard to obtain. With this couple they had everything, love was just a bonus. This is exactly how they would have wanted to die; together.

("Long-Married Couple Gordon Yeager and Norma Yeager Die Holding Hands. ") Love may be the most important thing, but it is not the only thing. In marriage, it takes commitment, patience, loyalty, respect, and solidarity. You cannot have that with someone you do not know. Instead of just falling in love right away people should get to know their mate and understand just about every aspect about them.

They need to know them inside and out; know their good and bad qualities and be able to accept who they are. If there had to be a type of love as a basis for a great marriage, it would be Agape; unconditional love. With unconditional love anything is possible, especially when you’re selfless. Those who are the Agape type are willing to make sacrifices.

That is a love that won’t decay. Nevertheless, you can only get that kind of love from knowing someone. All in all, romantic love is fun while it lasts. No one should get married if that’s the only reason.They need to consider everything, along with knowing who they want to be with first. Romantic love is quite blinding due to the attraction or beauty.

They need to look past that. Not only that, but if they should try premarital counseling before marriage or wait at a later age. If it’s already too late and the marriage is declining they should seek help with a marriage counselor, otherwise they should just divorce. Sometimes things aren’t meant to be. All of this just means people want to believe that romantic love can be the root of a marriage.

However, they are wrong; unconditional love should be.Works Cited Benson, Kirsten. "Kim Kardashian Divorce -- Why I'm Glad I Divorced Kris Humphries. "Hollywood Life.

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King, Valarie. "Six Styles of Love. "Valarie King on HubPages. N. p.

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