We live in a modern society where we need modern relationships and romance.
“Living apart together” or L. A. T is the term used to describe the modern relationship, where two people are in a relationship but live separately. The article “Just what modern romance needs” describes how the trend emerged, and in “Home alone together” we are presented with an example of a L.
A. T relationship which is well functioning. Several questions come to mind when treating this subject: Is this romance? Why are couples unable to live together as they used to?Are we getting too modern, and could this be the death of romance? These are questions I will be treating in this essay. In the modern society it is very easy to get a divorce, and the question is if it is too easy. 50% of all married couples get a divorce. Are we not willing to fight for love anymore, or are we just looking at love in a new way? The article “Just what modern romance needs” from the Yahoo voices tells of this new term describing a modern relationship.
According to the Italian sociologist Giuseppe Gesano, a Dutch journalist called Michel Berkiel used the term “L. A. T” the first time.This expression has now become a frequently used term in our everyday language and the concept is used by 50% of European couples.
Is it healthy to have a relationship were you live apart? The article “Home alone together” from the New York Times, tells of a couple that is in a L. A. T relationship. This particular couple has been together for 3 years and they find that it is working very well.
Maureen Toohey is a twice divorced, 39-year-old hairstylist from Mahopac in New York. She says: "My last husband would lie around like Al Bundy and expect me to be waiting on him all the time"."My boyfriend helps with the dishes and he's grateful for what I do. When we see each other, he takes me out to dinner and doesn't expect me to cook every night or do his laundry.
And when I do cook, he appreciates it. " Her boyfriend has also been divorced and he lives near New York. He admits that his friends think he is lucky to have a woman who is not pressuring him to live with her. “My friends thinks I have a good deal” he said.
“It’s a little unusual but it works”. This is a perfect example of a L. A. T relationship that works. They booth agree on the terms of there relationship and that it is the best solution.
But what makes it so hard managing to live together? In Maureens case it was the constant attention she had to give to her husband and him doing nothing. But can’t you talk those issues threw before getting a divorce or getting into a L. A. T relationship? Are we getting too independent and individualized that we can’t live together with another human? Where have the I-can’t-live-without-you emotion gone? Of course you can get enough of one person, but does that mean that you have to live separately? For some it is the only way to keep there love going, and for others it would be a nightmare.
But what are you when you are in a L. A. T relationship? Sweethearts, lovers, married, or forever dating? We are looking at relationships in a new way, where we find new opportunities to be in a relationship. We have to find our own ways, and what is working for our-self. Some people find the L. A.
T as the best solution, and some don’t. The L. A. T is a good solution if you need your own space, and more privacy. We have to fight for our relationships, some more than others, but if we are willing to suffocate everything then it is worth it. Love is not dead, we just have to look for it in a new way.
