Many issues currently are faced by the women who are into dating searching for the soul partner. Many decisions are taken in response to the choices that are made based on which fears are faced along with sorrows and grief. Dating and having a relationship with a married man is one such decisions that shall be highlighted in the following sections.
Modern societies are facing dilemmas that not only cover the personal lives but are also affecting the social lives of many individuals. These days many tragic situations surround the individual one of which is dating or being intimately involved with an already married man. This is just one form of tragedy that the individuals face thereby this has been regarded as a problem in the modern society to which a set of solution has been proposed (Mathews, 2008, p. 34).
1. Unacceptability From Family And Friends
Although the societies have changed the conservativeness level in them but there are many relationships that are still not seen as welcomed and these relationships include relationships with married men. A lot of stigmas have been seen in case of individuals who date married men. There is no acceptance levels found in families and friends of such individuals thereby there is a constant level of disagreement faced by these individuals. In some societies these matters are not only considerable for social lives but these kinds of relationships are also considered a sin in some religious communities. Thereby in most of the societies these kinds of relationships are not supported by family and friends. In the end the main problem that is faced by an individual involved in such relationship is loneliness failing to decide what exactly is to be done (Cook, 2001, p. 78).
2. Sneaking Around And Lying To Hide
As there is no acceptance and support from family and even friends thereby in face of loneliness lying and sneaking around is the only option left that an individual dating a married man has. These lies and hidden meetings are so that no one in the family and friends find out that the meetings and association are still going on in spite of the fact that the relationship has been opposed by many. In the beginning these kinds of relationships feel fine and acceptable but as such relationship progresses there are issues to be faced by the individuals involved in such relationship thereby an element of stress is included in the relationship (Fein, and Schneider, 2002, p. 6).
3. Priorities Of Married Men
Married men have responsibilities that are to be fulfilled at any costs and these set of responsibilities include families, wife and kids thereby any kinds of relationships that the married men may have keeps them in the loop of fulfilling the responsibilities of family, wife and kids in a prioritized manner. Thereby the woman who is having a relationship with the married man has to face more problems and issues as compared to the man himself. In most of the cases man being married and having responsibilities in regards to his wife and kids is unable to meet or call thereby leaving the woman feel alone and stranded. Family and kids are always on the first priority for the married men thereby in spite of trying hard the women who are into relationships with married men get lesser attention and time (Brown, 2005, p. 78).
4. Emotional Dilemma
Other than the issues presented in the previous sections one of the main issues that are faced by the married man and a woman in the relationship is an emotional dilemma. Dating a married man is a kind of relationship that is supposed to have set backs thereby accompanied with many emotional dilemmas. On the other hand it has been seen that this kind of relationship almost affects everyone who is directly or indirectly involved in such relationship (Poole, 2009, p. 45).
5. ‘Ifs’ And ‘Buts’: Fear Of Losing Family
It has been generally observed that as the relationship progresses there are a set of ‘ifs’ to be faced by the couple. What if the wife finds out, what if as a consequence she files for a divorce. Divorce has been known as a factor that can disturb children and their lives as their association and interaction with the parents is disturbed as a consequence of divorce. These relationships and their consequences are not easily understandable by the children thereby after losing the family; wife and kids the only thing that the man is left with is the guilt. Thereby as the children and kids are more loved to the married man there are no ways in which these kids are put on rick to be lost by the man so the woman becomes of lesser importance as compared to the wife and kids (Schleicher, 2006, p. 89).
6. Elements Of Cheating
These kinds of relationships are judged in many respects. It has been argued by the sociologists that there are many angles by which this kind of relationship is seen as ‘cheating’. Not only the married man is cheating and lying to his wife and his family but also with the woman who is intimately involved with the man. Thereby there are two main parties being affected by such relationship, family and the woman.
7. False Justifications
In order to justify such relationships, many justifications are given by the man in the relationship. One of the main justifications that have been given includes marriage not working well enough and a complete disconnection of the wife with the man that has leads him to date an unmarried woman. But as it has been studied these justifications are not enough to justify and explain a relationship with another woman outside the family (Wheatley, 2004, p. 78).
8. Financial Losses And Related Emotional Dilemmas For Married Men
Another main point of argument that is generally faced by such couples is the end fate of man’s wife and kids. Couples undergo long and failed debates on the topics as divorcing the wife leaving the kids with wife or taking them along as the legal decision may be. Secondly an important point that has to be considered while dating a married man are the intentions and plans with which he has finally decided to cheat on his family. In most of the cases in such relationships it has been seen that the women feel string along seeing that there is no end to fight and arguments in such relationships (Munroe, 2005, p. 88).
It has been added that married men have priorities based on which they remain attached to the families, wife and kids in a permanent manner. On the other hand, it has been seen that legal systems have made such changes to the divorce systems that taking divorce is not only a social and family life trauma but also a financial trauma for both husband and wife. Thereby the man who is involved in a woman other than his wife has to think about consequences of divorcing his wife facing monetary and social losses. Married men realize that there is a lot of stress and disturbance involved in leaving wife and kids thereby there are procrastinations involved in such cases that can lead to the women feeling less important.
9. Jeopardizing The Family Life And Social Life Of People Involved
Most important aspect that has to be taken into account is that dating a married man can jeopardize the family life of the people involved indirectly that primarily involve wife and kids. Rarely as it happens, if the married man divorces his wife and leaves his kids, a constant provoking feeling of guilt will always follow thereby creating more stresses in the relationship.
Thereby here it can be seen that there are no positive aspects of having a relationship with a married man, instead there are only procrastinations, stresses, ifs and buts, hiding and lying, and cheating on wife and families. Thereby dating a married man has been considered a tragedy for woman thereby solutions are important to be devised for avoiding this kind of relationship.
10. Loneliness And Silence
It has been mentioned in the previous sections that the relationships with married men are generally unacceptable by the families and friends thereby individuals are left alone when they need to talk to someone to find out solutions for the problem that they face. Thereby all the individuals face is silence and this silence is the only main reason of the pain being faced. Even the Closest people do not want to talk about the broken relationship for which they already summoned the warnings. This is the silence which often sends an individual, mostly the unmarried one into an exile and isolation (Kuriansky, 2004, p. 78).
Other than this after the relationship has been broken there is a constant call of guilt that calls in for sorrow and slowly sorrow makes place. As there is an inroad in guilt and sorrow there is no room to enjoy life and soon life takes toll and changes face into a section that includes no laughter or giggles thereby leaving a person in complete isolation and grief.
Many problems and issues are faced by the woman who is in relationship with married man. Dating married men is now a common trend that makes women undergo stress and disturbances in their social lives thereby this problem needs to be resolves at one too many levels. Following section will present solution to the set of problems that have been presented in the previous section.
1. Dating is to meet new people who are free of responsibilities of families and kids especially that of wife. It is a well-known fact that men who are married are more occupied and with responsibilities of wife and kids thereby they have no spare time to date or to be intimately involved with any other woman but their own wife. In addition to this, if there are any additional relationships observed by these men they are on the temporary basis (Hartman, 2007, p. 78). Thereby these are important facts that are to be kept in mind by the woman as they plan to go out dating with married men. The crux of life of life of married men is his wife and kids thereby no risks are invited by these men in leaving his family. Thereby any relationship started with a married man is and will always go in vain with no outputs. Thereby instead of finding lies and sneaking as a result of unacceptable nature of such relation, there is a need to realize that men have priorities and there is no giving up on these.
2. Women from any culture or any background have the right to be treated in a respectful manner and to choose a partner for herself. But in this case it has to be realized by the women that making choices is easy but making proper and appropriate choices from many calls for responsibility. Thereby instead of jumping into the looks and money of married man and thinking of him as being the best choice is wrong as this choice is not based on facts and rational. A woman who chooses to fate a married man is certainly making wrong choices as important facts that are being ignored in this case are the marital status of the man himself. A woman has the right to date and to choose but decisions and choices are to be realistic (Frisch, 2006, p. 89).
3. As it has been mentioned dating married men affects almost everyone that surrounds the couple. Thereby there is a need that the woman and man involved in such relationship should first think about the consequences of such relationship before pursuing with it. Emotional trauma not only surrounds the man and woman involved in this relationship but stresses are also created for the kids who face increased stresses when divorce takes place between wife and the husband involved. Kids on the other hand, are the most sensitive in this case as they are unable to understand reasons of such breakups. Thereby needs of a family life associated with the married man has to be taken into account by the man and woman both before pursuing with dating.
4. If there is a couple who has indulged into the relationship with the married man there is a need to get out of such relationship as soon as possible. As it has been seen that prolonging such relationship can only give way to more despair and hopelessness with sorrow creeping in. dating a married man is associated with emotional trauma and there are no ways in which the priorities of married men can be changed. Such relationships are to be ended before it’s too late (Schleicher, 2006, p. 34).
5. Woman who have faced these broken relationships should try to learn lessons from such a relationship rather than giving up on the best moments that their life has to offer. Sorrow and guilt are to be allowed to crowd one’s mind but not for long. Women have the rights to enjoy life as the men have but careful choices are to be made.
6. Before relationships with married men are pursued and carried on, woman should take someone’s advice. All traumas and failures that have been highlighted in the previous sections are well known in almost all societies bout there are cases when younger women still fall prey to married men thereby there is a need that in case of dating married men, advices are taken into consideration (Fein, and Schneider, 2002, p. 67).
7. No solutions or way outs are known for the arguments that take place between the man and women involved in such a relationship. These arguments are frequently based on leaving the wife and kids and these are the two main priorities in the life of married men that they cannot afford to give up. Thereby instead of arguing, women are advised to walk away from these kinds of relationships as this is the only escape to a better life.
8. In these kinds of relationships there are more chances of having conflicts between making a decision that can help in getting rid of future grief and sorrows and in keeping the relationship going as it provides temporary relief. In this case decisions are to be made keeping in mind the fact that breaking such relationship is much better as compared to keeping it. The advantages and the betterments involved are to be taken into account as these include wife and husband having a better life along with their kids having no fear of an affair being discovered. There are no arguments of the man divorcing his wife abandoning his children for the sake of affair thereby there are no guilt of jeopardizing the social and family life of kids who are indirect linked in the relationship not responsible for any of such events but truly are the ones that suffer the most (Munroe, 2005, p. 56).
Many women in the society are attracted to married men and start dating these men without taking into account the consequences that follow. These attractions are good for short time sake but there are a number of people who are directly or indirectly negatively affected as a result of a relationship which does not gather any acceptance from the surrounding society.