I was once forced to pair up with a partner on an important class project. Prior to the moment, you could count how many words I have spoken to him. The rest of the class knew him as the big, quiet guy from a really small town you cannot even pronounce the name.Being paired with someone new was not a problem for me, but working with someone who hardly speaks was going to be tough. Our first meeting was awkward as we just sat there and it seemed like I was doing all the talking which felt like forever.All he said was “hmm… ok” a few times, nod or shrug his shoulders occasionally, and that was it.
His entire body language: the slumped shoulders, the bored-look in his eyes, and the way he would tap his fingers on the table, showed that he either hated the work or was reluctant to do it. It made me nervous and when I get nervous I tend to ramble.To cover up my anxiety, I threw him instructions on what to do and it felt like I was running the show. I grew angry by the minute thinking my grade for the project was going to slip dealing with a one-way partnership – until he presented his work in our next meeting. His ideas were unusual but brilliant – better than mine - and it got me excited to be able to compound fresh ideas into our project.That was when I asked him why he never said anything earlier or demonstrated his interest to which he replied, “You seem to like to talk and have things your way so I just keep quiet.
” I was surprised he said that as I would not have talked so much if he had made me so nervous. I told him his overall demeanor was what made me chatty.He laughed for the first time saying that it was my non-stop talking that made him bored but, he added, that did not mean his mind was not working. He added that he felt my ideas were good and hates to interrupt someone who was caught up in his/her moment. That was when I wanted to laugh.
Our relationship progressed from that point onwards. Whenever he starts to tap his fingers, I knew then that I was rambling and when I make a pause, he knew he was making me uncomfortable. It is funny how it was the small, unassuming gestures that spoke louder and helped with our project rather than the verbal ideas we were exchanging.It may not be easy to change one’s body language but learning and understanding how you appear from others from time to time can be useful in working towards improving yourself to be both, a better person and a better communicator.ReferenceRetrieved from the World Wide Web on December 12th 2006,http://www.schwablearning.org/articles.asp?r=290
