Wallace Wallace
main character who never lies
Rachel Turner
president of drama club; fan of Julia Roberts
Trudi Davis
Rachel's best friend; boy-crazy; member of drama club
Dylan Turner
Rachel's younger brother; huge fan of Wallace Wallace
Steve Cavanaugh
football player; ex-best friend of Wallace
Rick Falconi
football player; creator of Rick-isms (icing on the gravy)
Feather Wrigley
football player; Coach's son
Coach Wrigley
coach of the Bedford Giants football team
Mr. Fogelman
English teacher; director of Old Shep, My Pal
Nathaniel Spitzner
member of drama club; Mr. Fogelman's right hand
Parker Schmidt
news reporter for Weekly Standard; fondly known as Porker Zit
Mrs. Wallace
Wallace's mom; divorced