THREEOUR DARKER PURPOSE[15] “Well this is a downy lot of goose toss if I’ve ever read it,” said I. I sat on the bastard’s back, cross-legged, reading the letter he’d…
TWONOW, GODS, STAND UP FOR BASTARDS![11] I found Drool in the laundry resolving a wank, spouting great gouts of git-seed across the laundry walls, floors, and ceiling, giggling, as young…
THE STAGEThe stage is a more or less mythical thirteenth-century Britain, with vestiges of British culture reaching back to pre-Roman times still loitering about. Britain encompasses what is now modern…
Chapter Thirty-oneBeing the Chronicles of Abby Normal: Not Unlike the Toaster, I Control the Darkness So I slept a little that day, and talked to my sweet love-ninja, Foo, a…
Chapter Twenty-nineDon’t You Hate Running into Your Ex? As soon as she unlocked the new loft’s security door from the street, Jody smelled blood, burned flesh, and shampoo. A case…
Chapter Twenty-sevenWell, That Was Fucked Up “Then, Lucifer Two attains the blood sword and takes Jared the White as his consort, and they hold dominion over all of the Kindred…
Chapter Twenty-fiveThey Know Not What They Do When Rivera and Cavuto arrived at the Safeway, they found that the remaining Animals had crucified Clint on a stainless-steel chip rack and…
Chapter Twenty-threeBeing the Chronicles of Abby Normal: The Hunted Apparently I am the Hunted, which, I want to note here, I am totally not qualified for. Here I sit, perched…
Chapter Twenty-oneLadies and Gentlemen, Presenting the Disappointments He was the best one-handed free-throw shooter in the Bay Area, and that Christmas night he had sunk sixty-four in a row in…
Chapter NineteenOur Dead Homeys The vampires sat side by side on the bare futon frame, watching as a five-legged bug limped up the big front window of the loft. Tommy…
Chapter EighteenNobody Likes a Dead Whore Finding her boyfriend tied naked to an upright bed frame, covered in blood, with a dead, blue dominatrix at his feet would be enough…
Chapter SixteenBeing the Chronicles of Abby Normal: Completely Fucked Servant of the Vampyre Flood OMFG-WOOT! I have failed, left my duty undone, like so much dog poop on the gloaming…
Chapter FourteenPowers for Good The Emperor was sitting on a black marble bench just around the corner from the great opera house, feeling small and ashamed, when he saw the…
Chapter ElevenThen, When They Woke Up “Oh my God, that stuff turned me completely orange.” “Not completely.” “I look like the Great Pumpkin.” “Good grief, Tommy, you do not.” Chapter…
Chapter NineIt’s Like Time Travel, Only You know, Slower… THE CHRONICLES OF ABBY NORMAL: Tortured Victim of the Daylight Dwellers So here I am again, to open my veins and…
Chapter EightShe Walks in Beauty Jody moved down Columbus Avenue with long, runway-model strides, feeling the windblown fog brush by her like the chill ghosts of rejected suitors. What she…
Chapter SevenThe List While Jody showered, Tommy made a list. Feed Laundry New Apartment Toothpaste Sweet Monkey Love Windex Dispose of Vampire Minion “What do we need an onion for?”…
Chapter SixDo Animals Get the Blues? Clint was the only one of the Animals still left at the Marina Safeway. He was tall, with a wild mop of dark hair…
Chapter FourRed and White and Dead all Over Rapoc stuffing and chicken feathers lay in great, fluffy drifts across the room, along with the shreds of their clothing, the futon…
Chapter TwoThe Last Poop “So that was it?” “Yep.” “Never again?” “Nope.” “Not ever?” “Nope.” “I feel like I should save them or something.” “Would you just flush and come…
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