To describe myself as an "insecure" writer is not untrue, and to even call myself a writer is, to me, an exaggeration. Ever since I had gotten poor grades on my essays in junior high, my confidence as a writer plummeted. While I know now that what all those red marks meant was to be constructive criticism, I had accepted my fate as a "science and math" kind of guy and gave up as a potential writer. My high school offered few writing experiences.
About two "big" papers (an average of three pages double spaced) were due each year. My English teachers were apathetic in pushing those who had mediocre or poorer writing skills, although their words said otherwise. Being a mediocre writer, therefore, I figured there was no need to push myself any further. Remaining between the spectrum of exceptional and very poor, I remained nonexistent on my teachers' radars.I would ignore the red markings on my writing, barely satisfied with the grade I received, and repeated the cycle. It wasn't until senior year when I realized how big of a problem it was that I cared so little about my skills as a writer; this is a life skill I need to develop.
I took into consideration all corrections and considerations on all papers I wrote, especially my college essays. I spent hours at my desk staring at a Word document on my computer, working my brain which was trying to resist thinking as a writer.Displaying my ideas in solid words and in a decently organized manner, I realized I still had the attention to hold the title of "writer" (not a particularly good one). I expect this class to help develop my writing skills.
The hardest part about writing is organizing my ideas in a coherent manner in a timed setting. I hope to develop my flow of ideas and get them organized on paper no matter how much time is given. I hope to transform myself from an "insecure" writer to one that is confident and knows exactly what he wants to write down.
