It is human to grieve over a loss of someone or something special in life. The grief comprises many components such as physical, emotional, social, mental, and spiritual. A person can feel grief during a serious, long-term illness or with an incurable disease.
The symptoms can be a great level of depression, gloominess, guilt, and hopelessness. This may result into feelings of numbness, shock, anger, anxiety, loneliness, fatigue, and yearning. Hence, the common grief responses to physical feelings include; lack of sleep, tightness in the chest, shortness of breath, lack of energy, panic, and loss of appetite.Though everyone at some point in life may experience grief as a reaction to loss, a severe or lengthened grief brings about serious issues. A strong emotional reaction occurs when the bonds of attachment to someone or something are broken.
Therefore, this paper will compare and contrast the grieving process as defined by Kubler-Ross and the story of Job; it will also compare the relationship and interaction between joy and the grieving models. Finally it will conclude with my own preferred method of handling grief, and how it has changed my view of grief. Grieving process as defined by Kubler-Ross visa-vis JobAs a psychiatrist Kubler-Ross devoted her life to the study of death and dying. In her book On Death and Dying, Kubler explains five stages of grief which consists of denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
She maintained that grieving is a process which follows a natural cycle (Kubler-Ross, 1969) denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. In the Bible, we encounter the suffering of an innocent, upright and prosperous man known as Job who experiences sudden grief and tremendous loss of his family members, property and wealth in addition to an intolerable illness.Yet in all this pain and grief during his first trial, Job acknowledges his nakedness before the Lord thus accepting his fate (Job 2:21). In his great loss and ruin, Job did neither sin nor showed disrespect to God. Even in his second trial when he received a detestable skin sickness, he maintained his innocence and despite his grief, turned to God once again resigned to receive evil in the same way he accepted good things from God. (Job 2:10).
Despite this acceptance of what God had allowed into his life, Job like anybody else went through the normal process of grief.The stages as outlined by Kubler-Ross may not have been followed in order by Job but he did grieve. Cursing the day he was born, took him through denial, anger and bargaining. He felt a total loss, helplessness, confusion and depression. In all his responses to his three friends, Job pleads and bargains with God, he seeks for forgiveness if he had sinned against him, yet exonerates his majesty and wisdom.
Finally, God restores back to Job a double-fold of what he had lost.His story teaches us that in grief when we go through the stages of denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance; we experience a broader and deeper awareness of God’s power, presence and wisdom as Job did. The relationship between Joy and Kubler-Ross’ grieving models and examples Grief and joy are closely related because they both speak to a listening heart and have a depth of feeling. When we grieve, we look up to God in the silence of our hearts and when we experience joy, it also starts from the heart and then illumines a radiance of gratitude to God and the world.In the same way, although we are familiar with the five stages of grief as described by Kubler Ross in 1969 (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance), sometimes we cope with grief not in linear stages, but in a dual process described by Stroebe and Schut that goes back and forth between the experience of loss (sadness, anger, yearning, crying) and the experience of restoration (feeling “normal,” joy, contentment, laughing), which gives the bereaved an interval from attending to their grief.
Zora Neale Hurston, wrote, “I have been in Sorrow’s kitchen and licked out all the pots.Then I have stood on the peaky mountain wrapped in rainbows, with a harp and a sword in my hands. ” This means that grief (sorrow) and joy (rainbow) exchange moods, teach and care for each other. A sudden joy can unexpectedly shine forth in a time of great sorrow.
Conversely, even in our greatest joy we are capable to hear the distant wailing of sorrow. My own preferred method of handling grief and effect of this research While denial and anger during grief makes me feel vulnerable, this research has changed my view of grief. I now know that I have the capacity to carry complicated emotions.It is ok to allow myself to grieve. We learn to carry the grief and integrate loss into our lives.
In time, the grief becomes lighter to bear and later we shall be grateful that we attended to our grief. I do not have to pressure people to forget, move on, find closure, or get over a loss. Rather, I have to learn to listen while somebody tells their stories. Tears are ok, as they mark our love, pain and joy.
In the end, we want hope, love, and joy to be stronger than grief. Still, there is room to carry sorrow and joy together.
