The purpose of this paper is to introduce, discuss, and analyze the topic of jealousy. Specifically, it will provide an extended definition of the abstract concept of jealousy. Jealousy is an emotion, but it is also a concept, and not necessarily one of the most positive and helpful emotions a person can have. Jealousy depends on others to feed it, and so, jealousy cannot survive in a vacuum.
Jealousy can be destructive and debilitating, and it is an emotion that can cause great emotional pain and self-doubt. What is jealousy? Dictionary. om defines jealousy as "A jealous attitude or disposition or close vigilance. "However, this succinct definition does not tell the whole story. Jealousy is much more than an attitude or disposition.
For some, it is a way of life, and for others, it can consume their life, changing it forever. Take the case of California socialite Betty Broderick, who found her husband with his secretary/lover and killed them both in a jealous rage (Cupach and Spitzberg 33). Jealousy can be a dangerous emotion, but why is jealousy so emotionally charged?Usually, jealousy is a negative or passionate reaction to a situation, and that is what can make it so dangerous. If jealousy can be so dangerous, can envy be dangerous too? Envy can also be a dangerous emotion, but there is something important that separates it from jealousy, and that is the passion.
You can be envious of your neighbor's new car or your friend's new clothes, but these feelings probably will not lead you to passionate violence. You will not steal the car because you envy it.Jealousy almost always involves a passionate and emotional response to something, and so, it evokes passionate and emotional responses. Sometimes, just as jealousy can bring about positive responses, envy can bring about positive change, too.
Some people can use their envy of others to improve themselves. For example, an overweight woman is envious of her friend's fine figure, and so, envy motivates her to change her lifestyle and lose weight so she and her friend can swap clothes like those that they did in high school.Just about everyone has experienced jealousy at some point or another, so they recognize the responses. Jealousy can start with sweating palms, a tightness in the stomach, and an emotional response to a situation that might not call for such a response.
The mind goes blank, and seems to act separately from the body. Jealousy makes people worry, and makes them question themselves. Usually these physical feelings combine with mental thoughts of anger, despair, fear, worry, and self-doubt. They worry about the state of their relationship, if they are truly loved, and that they have been wronged.This is why these emotions can combine to create a volatile and deadly mixture. Jealousy, that "green-eyed monster," can create irrational feelings of self-doubt and hatred so extreme, that the person wronged feels totally justified in committing a violent and often deadly act.
The perfect example of this is O. J. Simpson, who many people still believe killed his wife Nicole in a jealous rage after discovering her with another man. Now, it may seem irrational and awful, but at the time, it may have seemed like the only solution for Simpson.That is what jealousy can do.
It can color your outlook so you cannot think rationally, and it can make you literally crazy. When jealousy clouds your mind, rational thought does not exist, only emotions that may have lay dormant for years. Jealousy is a dangerous emotion, and when people give in to it, they often commit acts they never would have committed in a more rational state. Jealousy is a killer emotion, all right.
Of course, jealousy can also bring out some of the best emotions in people, as these researchers note, "Jealousy can show love and affection.It can also help a person realize the extent to which he or she cares about another. [..
. ] Sometimes the irrational feelings of jealousy can be taken as signs of caring and devotion, rather than as possessiveness and insecurity" (Cupach and Spitzberg 34). However, most of the time, jealousy is not used positively, and it clouds the brain with anger and hatred, rather than "caring and devotion. " A small amount of jealousy may spark a romance, but a larger amount of jealousy can just fan the fire, rather than spark the flame.Jealousy can be deadly, but how do you know when you are experiencing jealousy? Remember the time your boyfriend looked at the tall blonde in the non-existent bikini at the beach and smiled his best and cutest smile, and you suddenly felt fat, ugly, and bloated in what once was your stylish one-piece suit? That is jealousy. It can be sudden, it can hurt, and it can turn ugly.
Remember how you swatted his arm and told him to "knock it off," and the blonde smiled a very knowing smile, as if she had seen it before? That is jealousy at work.You might never have hit your boyfriend, but in that instant, it seemed like the only thing to do that made sense. That is a reaction to jealousy. Now, imagine you found your boyfriend in bed with the blonde, and magnify your reaction. That is jealousy. It can be an ugly emotion, and it can elicit the most amazing and fatal responses.
Interestingly, researchers believe that men are more adversely affected by their partners, and can have more emotional jealous responses than women, especially when they regard their sexual and romantic relationships (Meyers and Nannini 117).Clearly, the worst kind of jealousy is romantic jealousy, which researchers define as "the outrage of an act of infidelity, of disloyalty; it threatens loss of the central relationship; it involves humiliation; it raises an intensely ambivalent eroticism; it escalates interpersonal conflict within the relationship; and it is accompanied by uncertainty, frustration, and helplessness" (Cupach and Spitzberg 34).How do you deal with jealousy? Surprisingly, some researchers found it is quite difficult to stop jealous feelings once they have started, and the best thing to do with jealous feelings is prevent them in the first place, by discussing your doubts and fears with your partner, and letting them know what kinds of actions create jealous feelings (Rodin and Salovey).Jealousy, like all fears and phobias, is created by the unconscious mind as a protective mechanism. At some point in your past, there was likely an event linking jealousy and emotional trauma. While the original catalyst may have been a real-life scare of some kind, the condition can also be triggered by myriad, benign events like movies, TV, or perhaps seeing someone else experience trauma.
The actual phobia manifests itself in different ways.Some sufferers experience it almost all the time, others just in response to direct stimuli. Everyone has their own unique formula for when and how to feel bad. (Rodin and Salovey). Jealousy does not know color, height, weight, wealth or any of these different variables. Clearly, jealousy is a difficult emotional reaction, and once you have felt it, you know exactly what it feels like, and it is not pretty.
