The concept of arranged marriages maybe something new for people like us who live in the West and whose perception of marriage is one of love and of free will. However, not all countries share the same views on marriage as the Western World does.
In India, and in certain countries in Asia, there is still a prevalence of arranged marriages –so much so that it has become more of a rule than an exception. Naturally, there is a psychological and economical view on arranged marriages and many articles have been written about these two perspectives.For this particular paper, I have gone over two articles which look into the psychology and economics that goes behind an arranged marriage. For the psychological perspective of an arranged marriage, I chose the article written by Srinath Krishnan entitled “Aunts and Arranged Marriages in India”. In this particular article, Krishnan highlights the role of “aunties” or elderly women in India in arranging marriages. She notes early on in the article that aunties have an “intrinsic and pivotal” role in arranging marriages –from the time of conception to the time of implementation.
She also goes on to say that arranged marriages has been so accepted in society that aunties have found it their obligation to do match-making between families. She notes, “the task is much akin to a rugged, well-oiled mechanical machine that processes, packages and labels, before dispatching off the final product, while the next one is already ready in line for processing... ” In the said article, Krishnan cleverly records a conversation that took place between two aunts at a random wedding where the conception of another arranged marriage slowly unfolds.
For a Westerner like me, I find it extremely uncomfortable to read a conversation such as the one Krishnan recorded. For one thing, it appears that marriage takes place between two individuals who are negotiating a business deal, instead of being a promise between two individuals to love and cherish one another until eternity. It seemed as if the aunts who are involved in the conversation are talking about two commodities, two products instead of the lives of two people.In fine, Krishnan subtlety notes the much-accepted practice of arranged marriages in India and gives the reader a view on why it has been such a norm in that particular society.
She also subtlety touches on the psychological aspect of an arranged marriage, taking into consideration the fact that it has been such a part of the people’s culture that it already becomes a way of life for the Indian people. For the economic side of an arranged marriage, I read the article found in the YGOY website entitled “The Economics of Arranged Marriages.In this particular article, the unnamed writer disclosed that economics is one of the driving forces behind arranged marriages. As the author notes, “in arranged marriages, for the person who wishes to get married, the question of concern is not looking for love in the relationship but to see whether the marriage proposal is of certain quality or comes from a high social status or not. ” The author notes that the family is primarily concerned with financial security when looking for a marriage partner for their child.
Once they submit their son's or daughter's bio data at various places, they begin to receive responses in some time. Out of all the responses received for a suitable match, they are sorted out as per their financial status primarily besides the other important facts such as education, family background etc. The economics of arranged marriages lies in the fact that they give particular concern to money. ” The author also highlights the fact that the girls in arranged marriages are not at all concerned with the nature, attitude and behavioral skills of the boy.
Rather, the girls and their families are mostly concerned with the boy’s bank account. The fatter the account, the better it is for the girls. The same belief is held by the boy’s family when choosing the right girl for their son. For them, the right girl is one with the fattest bank account. They consider those girls or families who belong to high financial status in the society. The possible concern here is for the dowry, the cash and gifts that boy receives from girl's family in marriage.
Hence, the author notes that an arranged marriage is not very different from a business deal.It can also be viewed as a social insurance. For the rich class in the society, there are some important economic reasons behind the arranged marriages. For example, in the case of a group of families specializing in the import or export of the certain types of goods, economics of arranged marriages works brilliantly. With the arranged marriages done among these business families, the scope of business may boom further.
They may stay united and become partners than rivals. They may keep their business contacts and skills a secret and make entry barriers for others.From these two articles, we can clearly see that an arranged marriage is a marriage that is at some level arranged by someone other than those being married. Such marriages are common in the Middle East and parts of Africa and Asia.
There are, in fact, at least four types of arranged marriages: (1) forced marriage, (2) traditional arranged marriage, (3) modern arranged marriage, and (4) modern arranged marriage with courtship. In a forced marriage, the parents choose the child's future spouse with little or no input from the child.In this rare form of arranged marriage, if the child refuses the choice, he or she may be disowned or punished (in rare cases, killed). In most such cases, the marriage simply takes place anyway, overriding the child's objections. Motivating factors for such a marriage tend to be social or economic, i. e.
, the interests of the family or community that are served by the marriage are seen as paramount, and the will of the individual is insignificant. In a traditional marriage, the parents again choose the child's future spouse with little or no input from the child.If the child refuses the choice, the parents tend to respect the child's wishes and choose another possible spouse. However, considerable emotional pressure may be brought to bear to make the child "see reason".
The main motivating factor in such marriages is the happiness of the child, but viewed from a paternalistic/maternalistic angle such as parents knowing what is best for their child. In a modern arranged marriage, the involvement of the child is considerably more. Parents choose several possible mates for the child, sometimes with the help of the child (who may indicate which photos/biographies he or she likes, for example).The parents will then arrange a meeting with the family of the prospective mate, and the two children will often have a short unsupervised meeting (an hour long walk around the neighborhood together, for example). The children will then eventually choose who they wish to marry (if anyone), although parents may exert varying degrees of pressure on the child to make a certain choice of which they approve. The happiness of the child is the main concern, and the parents see their role as responsible facilitators and well-wishers.
Finally, a modern arranged marriage with courtship is similar to a modern arranged marriage except that the children have a chance to get to know each other over a longer period of time via e-mail, phone, or multiple in-person meetings, before making a decision. It takes considerably more courage on the part of the parents (as well as the children) to go through this process. Some girls actually prefer a short (or no) courtship as they fear the stigma and emotional trauma of being rejected after a courtship. As a citizen of the modern, Western world, the idea of an arranged marriage is really something that is not acceptable to me.
It is too confining for comfort, so to speak. For me, marriage is a sacred institution – so sacred that it should only be done out of love. Young people in countries where arranged marriages are commonplace are told from an early age that their spouse will be chosen for them. To deny an arranged marriage is seen as a sign of disrespect toward the family. Let us first look at some of the questions raised from psychologist’s perspective. I have come to realize that Indian people give much importance to family relationship.
For one thing, the system seems to protect the family.The parents take care of their children, and the children obey their parents. Parents find suitable spouses for their children from appropriate families. So, there is no chance of marrying outside their own religion, caste, social status or economic class. This protects the couple from the problems that usually originate from disparity of religion, caste and class. Through a marriage two families come into mutual relationship, and both families together try to work out the marriage if problems arise in the marriage.
Nevertheless, the arranged marriage system has its flaws.This system originated when child marriage was the custom in India. From a psychological angle, children at an early age, even before their puberty, were given in marriage. Such children could not give valid consent to marriage, and so parents were consenting. The purpose of child marriage was to prevent those children from seeking by themselves (when they become adults) somebody from lower caste or lower class for marriage.
It was a means of restriction to their children from marrying outside their race and social status. Thus arranged marriage system is a product of caste system.It has developed to promote racism and classism, and it is not based on any spiritual value. Another drawback of arranged marriage is that the partners to marriage do not know their future spouses before marriage. And for me, this is another relevant issue from a psychological point of view. In arranged marriage it is not important at all.
In many cases, the boy and girl who get ready to enter into marriage may see each other two or three times before marriage, and that meeting would be in the presence of parents and other family members.Thus, marriage happens without knowing each other. Many people who work in far away places, especially in gulf countries come home for a leave, and marriage is arranged within a week or two. Legally speaking, you do not give valid consent to accept something you do not know.
It is consent that brings a marriage; and, if there is no valid consent, there is no marriage according to the law of the Catholic Church. Marriages contracted because of force or fear would be invalid according to Canon Law. If we strictly analyze, many marriages happening in India are invalid.When thinks about it, the arranged marriage system in India is bad in one sense but good in another sense.
It is bad when marriage is arranged with such a hatred and prejudice over other religions, castes and races; it is bad when parents over-protect and control their children to the extent of denying every wish, and even every right of their children in choosing their partners. Arranged marriages are wonderful when parents and children love each other sincerely, and total freedom is given to children for final consent to marriage; and, when arrangements are made for the would-be-spouses to meet and to know each other.Still, one cannot argue the fact that economics come into play when discussion of an arranged marriage takes place. Truth be told, there are economic reasons behind arranged marriages, similar to those behind the formation of cartels. Take a group of families who specialize in the import of a certain type of good. By staying united, they can keep their trading skills and contacts secret, thereby creating entry barriers.
Large landowners have similar incentives. In the last five years, there have been major transformations in both the agricultural sector and in the import sector in Mauritius.With the phasing out of the Sugar Protocol, which guaranteed an above-the-market-price for Mauritian sugar on the European market, sugarcane, the main crop on the island by far, has suddenly become an unprofitable business. Some shrewd landowners have swiftly diversified in tourism, but some haven’t. There is another class of families who are specialized in importing from the Indian subcontinent, principally because they have the comparative advantage of having emigrated from there only a generation or two ago (most Mauritian are fourth or fifth generation migrants).Improvements in technology and the gradual reduction of import tariffs have made importing goods much easier than it used to be.
Their respective semi-arranged marriage markets will soon become yet another victim of globalization. As a summary, there are economical and psychological views, factors and concerns that are taken into consideration when an arranged marriage is conceptualized. Financial security, individual growth and family loyalty are but some of the examples that come into play in such a scenario. I realized that there are definitely advantages to having an arranged marriage.For one thing, I realized that there is a possibility that an arranged marriage may prove to be more successful than the so-called love marriage being practiced on our part of the world. Sometimes discord arises even in love marriages.
In the West, girls who do not fit into a size 6 find it difficult to find suitable dates. There is pressure on the women to conform to conventional male ideas of beauty where women have to be tall and slim with hourglass figures. These kinds of attitudes and perspectives have become increasingly responsible for women suffering a lot of pain and rejection.Beauty contests and the popular Barbie doll with its model of a doll with supermodel's figure have been accused of reinforcing this mindset. The proliferation of beauty magazines where skinny goddesses are paraded only contribute to the inferiority complex of the modern women who does not make the cut. These kinds of pressures would just increase as society gets more modern and technology advances.
Looking at arranged marriages from a different angle, we can assume that this set up can offer more protection and security to the women. There is not much pressure on the women to look like models.Parents employ maturity and wise judgment when choosing suitable spouses for their children. Sometimes it helps to rely on another person's opinion and experience when selecting one's partner especially when the people marrying are young and need guidance and advice in marrying a suitable person. Saying this does not mean, however, that the ideal marriage would be one that has been pre-determined or arranged. Needless to say, having an arranged marriage does not, in any way, give a guarantee that the married couple will remain happily ever after or that there is harmony in the relationship.
Women have been known to stay on in abusive relationships for the sake of family pride, respect in society etc. Even in an arranged marriage there is a different sort of pressure to be fair-skinned and beautiful. In India the evil of dowry, caste and community issues and the concept of matching horoscopes, sometimes taken to its extreme levels have contributed much to the argument against arranged marriages. Ultimately, it is up to the individual to decide whether he wants to have a love or an arranged marriage. After all, it is a question of being happy in love.Referenceshttp://www.pardesiservices.com/tradition/arrangedmarg.asphttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arranged_marriage
