Sharon Olds wrote poems expressing sentimentality. In “Looking at Them Asleep,” we find sentimentality expressed in the persona’s thoughts regarding his/her children. The persona in this poem is a working parent who watches his/her children sleeping. It is not specified whether the persona is a mother or a father but considering the affection expressed towards the children, we can say that the persona is a mother.
Two images of youth are given in the poem. First, we see the girl as innocent and totally oblivious of the world around her with “her face deep in unconsciousness”.The line, “deeply centered, she is in her dark self” further suggests youthfulness of the daughter in that while young, children are self-centered and cares nothing about the world. Youth serves as the central image in the poem. First, it presents youth as self-centered and oblivious state.
The daughter’s “slightly pouted [mouth] like one who hasn’t had enough” (line 6) explains the self-centeredness, while “eyes so closed…[and] “lying on her back in abandon and sealed completion” (line 11) are lines suggesting oblivion.Second, the persona also presents youth as a vigorous and passionate state. The son’s “one knee up” (line 13) and “quivering eyelids” suggest the vigor and the passion for adventure, the hunger for experience. Moreover, the persona sees that the growing up son has curiosity and assertion. At the end of the poem, the persona expresses filial love especially with the lines, “when love comes to me. I say this girl, this boy” .
Looking closely, we can say that this love is coupled by the admiration a parent has for youth in front of her.Specifically, if we analyze the author’s view in this poem, we can come up with an analysis that the author of this poem is similar to Holden Caulfield in Catcher in the Rye, a novel by J. D. Salinger.
The scene of watching a child sleep in this poem is comparable to the scene in the novel where Holden watches his sister sleeping with mouth open. In that scenario, Holden thinks that it is alright for a child to have her mouth open while sleeping, because they are still innocent.Similarly, in this poem, the way the persona describes the girl shows her fondness for the youth, her reminiscence of innocence. Olds’s second poem titled, “I Go Back to May 1937,” suggests a retreat to the past which took place in a college in 1937. The persona serves as a narrator who wants to warn his parents before the two got married.
First, the month of May suggests youth. The scenario that the persona tries to revisit is the time when his/her parents fall in love. In the first five lines, the persona narrates how the two decided to get married, when they were about to graduate.The images presented, for instance, the “ochre sandstone arches and red tiles glinting as hot as the sun” and the iron gates’ “sword-tips black in May air” suggest passion and burning love for each other.
In the next lines, the persona explains how these two youths are naive especially when it comes to getting married. The young couple did not know what it means to be married, and what it would cause if they fail to keep the marriage alive. Also, they did not know right then that they were not the right match, and the marriage would not last.Wanting to stop the couple from getting married, the persona says: I want to go up to them and say Stop, don’t do it – she’s the wrong woman, he’s the wrong man.
You are going to do things you cannot imagine you would ever do. You are going to do bad things to children. You are going to suffer in ways you never heard of, you are going to want to die. ” (lines 13-19). Her message is clear. She wants to tell the couple not to get married because it would be a wrong idea, a sin because later on their children will suffer when they separate.
Furthermore, the persona sees that the marriage will be a curse which the couple would regret later on, and would even cause them to feel bad that they want to die.Seeing these lines makes us think that the persona in the poem may have been too wounded by the failure of his/her parents’ marriage. In this poem, Sharon Olds is actually telling us that a hasty marriage is not going to work out. If it does not work out, the children will be scarred for life, thus, ending in a tragedy for the family and for generations to come. Not only do we see the persona’s regret for the separation of parent, but also the regret about the life s/he lives. The author also used images to vivify the situation.
The persona describes the mother with “hungry and pretty blank face…[and] pitiful and beautiful untouched body” (lines 21-22). The father is seen similarly with all youth and arrogance in the lines, “His arrogant handsome blind face was turning to me. His pitiful and beautiful untouched body was left alone. ” (lines 23-24). These lines further gives a picture of the father who thought he could hold a marriage, but later would realize that he is wrong because what he felt could have only been infatuation.
Many times, young people commit mistakes by believing that they could bear everything that life would give them.One example situation is when people get married when they are young. They think that they could do the responsibilities of a parent, but later find out that they are not yet prepared. In such case, they are not the only ones to suffer but their children and grandchildren as well. In the last few lines of the poem, the persona changes her mind about stopping the two from getting married.
The persona realizes that if the two would not get married, s/he will not live. Thus, the persona says, “I want to live. I take them up like the male and female paper dolls and bang them together at the hips…” (lines 25-28).These lines mean that the persona accepts the reality that s/he cannot change because changing it would mean terminating his/her own life. Therefore, the persona just treat them as “paper dolls” as if they are there for a show and such is needed in order to bring life to a good possibility—the persona’s life. The slight change in tone of the persona gives us his/her choice about life.
In the beginning, we can see that the persona is depressed and disappointed with the marriage of his/her parents, and feels like wanting to stop them. This may be similar to playing the role of god in trying to make things work, and trying to undo the past.However, the persona comes to realize that there is no way that she would be able to alter the past, nor change the way how Mother Nature intended the way of human connectivity. The last part which refers back to the couple’s story of how the hasty marriage began expresses a continuous sequence of pain, agony, and suffering for the persona. However, realizing that the marriage gave way to another life—the persona’s own life, s/he chooses to let the marriage happen in order to live. As such, although the beginning feeling was negative, the choice to live is positive and hopeful.
This poem is one very good reminder to everyone who is getting married, not only the youth. Overall, Olds is trying to tell us that whatever choices we make in our lives, we should first reflect on it and weigh consequences before jumping into a decision we may find wrong. To find out if our decision is correct, we should find time to think and try to find answers or guidance from a friend or a family member. This way, we will be sure that we are entering a correct path. The two poems of Sharon Olds may have different themes but they share some similar concepts.
In the first poem, we see a mother’s love and admiration for the youth. This love could mean wanting to keep their innocence and making them her babies forever—which is a way of holding on. In the second poem, we see the persona’s revelation of wanting to hold back her parents’ past. The description of a complex reality brought by failed marriage pushes the persona to try stopping the couple from getting married.
This feeling of sentimentality is similar with the first one in that both personas are holding on and trying to take hold of time in their hands so that they could cherish love towards their family.
