One of the foundational requirements of any Interpersonal relation is development of trust. The level of trust in any relationship basically defines the nature of our relationship in world. The level of trust is low with strangers and controversial relations and high in close and intimate relations. Trust in itself is formed on level of certainty, dependence and degree of accurate knowledge about other people in the relationship.
We do not trust strangers because we don’t know either about their personal details or their motives and objectives.On the other hands, our friends, family members and spouses are trustable because with a fair degree of certainty and confidence we ‘know’ them- that is to say, we are aware of their accurate personal details and information. The general rule is that lower the level of uncertainty the more intimate is the relation. A major issue in most of the relation is eliciting the correct information.
The issue is indeed very complex because except in the closely-knit family relations, there are very few sources of accurate information and knowledge in the relations that we form outside the family.As a consequence, we generally accept the information other people give about themselves on its face value- first, as most of us have a tendency to believe what we are told, especially by people we admire and like. Second, there are hardly any other sources except people themselves upon whom we depend on the information and hardly any other sources to cross check and confirm the same and therefore we form the whole basis of relation on the information virtually verbally received. The veracity, content and depth of information shared in any interpersonal relation depend on the nature of relation and intimacy involved.
The discretion of sharing or concealing information is a completely individual decision and preference. There are many relations, even of fairly close and interactive nature where people are not comfortable in sharing every detail and prefer to conceal or change some details. However, there are relations of intimate nature, such as between spouses, where wrong and misleading information or deliberate improvisations may completely and irrevocably jeopardize the relationship. Main issues in self-disclosureSelf-disclosure has always been associated with characteristic strength, as a mark of personal integrity and as a dependable indicator to absence of ulterior motives in a person’s actions and thoughts.
People who are viewed speaking truth about themselves earn respect and admiration for their inner strength to come out ‘clean’ in a relationship.Various studies and statistical research have indicated that the question of self-disclosure is interrelated with issues of i. sex differences in self-disclosure. ii. eciprocal response in self disclosure.
iii. self-disclosure and the nature of relation. Following is a closer analysis of these three issues. Sex difference in Self-disclosure: Statistical results, collected through a number of studies show that self disclosure indices are higher for women than men. Among women themselves, women disclose more to women than men.
On contrary, men often disclose very less information about themselves to their male friends and the nature of their interaction is very limited on inter-personal level.Further, in established male-female relationship, it’s again the women who disclose more about themselves, although both men and women prefer to maintain almost same degree of discretion with strangers. Reciprocal response in self disclosure: Researches have also shown the results that on general levels, self-disclosure by one partner in the relation often elicits disclosure from the other partner. In a discussion, discourse or narration, when one person becomes candid and reveals information about himself/herself, it induces a comparable degree of frankness from those around.
People are often attracted by trust sharing which acts as the icebreaker and a positive initiator as a confidence building measure. This mutual positive benefit also depends on degree of initiator’s disclosure and the similarity in personality traits. However, the reciprocity may not happen immediately as there are people who are not immediately comfortable in sharing their details and its only after a transition time that they become comfortable in discussing about themselves.The nature of reciprocal self-disclosure is also inter-subjective, in the sense that it is vitally dependent on the nature of inter-personal relationship. In inter-subjective disclosure among peers, colleagues, and friends, while the information shared in self-disclosure is selective, the disclosure takes place at much more comprehensive and intimate level in spouse relationship.
In a spouse relationship, if one of the partner takes initiative for self-disclosure, it forms trust and confidence and eventually encourages the other partner to share the information.
