There’s a quote that everyone in Vietnam has learned throughout his or her first grade, “If you are near the ink, you'll get dark; if you're near the light, you'll be bright. ” This is probably doesn’t make much sense in English translation. It’s basically saying about companionship, and the influence it has on one the other. When I was younger, I always tried to prove that the quote was wrong. I thought that a person could decide whether they want to be influenced by others. I wanted to show everyone that I could be different, that I won’t get influenced.
Little that I know, I was influenced without even realizing it.Then I lost my parents’ trust and respect. I was under appreciated my parents for what they have done for me. I learned that people are often influenced very easily by the people they hang out and interact with.
Human action can be controlled by outside force without their knowledge. And parents are usually forgotten by their children when this happens. A person can very easily be influenced by his/her friends. In my story, I’m just another example of a typical high school student. Before I entered high school, I was always a straight A student, and loving, appreciating my parents.I did everything they expect me to do, and that’s how I got their trust and respect.
Not long after that, I entered high school, made new friends. I started to hang out more often, and lie to my parents. My experience with peer influence can be seen in the “That 70’s show” that we watched in class. In the first episode of the first season, the show has shown how Eric’s friends influenced him when he decided to take his new car out of town. He knows his parents told him not to, but because he wants to prove that he’s old enough to make his own decision.At the same time, that idea wasn’t his in the first place, because his friends planted it in his head, and were persuading him to go (Pilot.
) After watching the show, I realized I was no different from Eric. One time, my friends and I decided to travel to another city. I asked my parents for their permission, but they said no because they concern about my safety. However, I still went on the trip after knowing their decision. My parents went looking for me since I wasn’t home. They finally figured out that I went out of town with my friends.
That’s the first time I ever saw my mom got mad and so disappointed at me.I couldn’t face her and at that moment I know I lost her trust completely. Just like Eric in “That 70’s show”, my friends easily change my decision, and the way I think. Parents are taken by granted by their children.
They work hard, and try to teach their kids to do the right thing, stay away from trouble. However, children often forget what their parents tell them, because peer influence is much stronger. For me, I can’t only prove my point of view, that my free will won’t be influenced by others, but also become the kid in “Those Winter Sundays” poem: “Speaking indifferently to him, ho had driven out the cold and polished my good shoes as well. ” (Hayden, 10-13)The father did so much for his family, but at the end, he received no appreciation from them. My parents have taught me so many good things, and then I turned away from my parents without considering the fact.
I hated my parents for not letting me go out. I talked indifferently of them, and had no respect or whatsoever. I turned into someone I wouldn’t want to be. I looked myself in the mirror, and I see the reflection of my friends.
I realized I was too close to the “ink”, and it turned me “dark. Peer influence is very strong and has a faster effect on a person before they even realize it. As human, we tend to learn better by making mistakes.We let people influence our action, free will. In “Girl”, with all that knowledge and life experiences, the mother lectures her daughter. She gives her daughter basic survival skills, like how to cook, how to clean, how to take care of a man, and her own… (Kincaid) Clearly, the daughter has her own opinion, because she thinks differently.
She talks back to her mom, “but I don’t sing benna on Sundays at all and never in Sunday school…but what if the baker won’t let me feel the bread. We have all this knowledge about life through our parents’ perspective, but when it comes to real world, we always let people take over our own value.In some cases, people don’t know they’re doing the wrong thing because they think their peers are doing it too. Our parents take years to teach us how to be a good person, but it only takes days, weeks for our friends to change our good being.
“Choose friends carefully” is the one thing my mom always tells me. She tells me people can value me by looking at the friends I’m hanging with. It is hard to believe but one can be influenced by outside forces without knowing it.So what I always believed in was proven to be wrong in my own experience. I realized that the friends you hang out with can change who you are with or without your knowledge.
So choosing friends, or group that you want to be part of is very important At the end, the decision you make in the beginning is the most important step. Again, get to the light and away from the ink. No matter what happen, don’t turn away you’re your family when you’re in the “dark”. Just remember, your family is the light, and that’s what you want to be close to.
