People used to look for a life partner through old-fashioned courtship. They would first meet on the job, at school, in church or through friends. After a period of exclusive dating and meeting each other's families, the couple would then decide if they should move their relationship forward to engagement, and, ultimately, marriage. But the advent of the Internet apparently spelled the end for traditional courtship (Fullerton, n.
pag. ). Nowadays, not only people can shop and pay bills online – they can also use the Web to look for partners or spouses (Fullerton, n. ag.
).Thanks to online dating, love letters, phone calls and face-to-face dates have been replaced with romantic emails and emoticons (Fullerton, n. pag. ). This has led to the conclusion that online dating has made “finding a life partner..
. as simple as point and click” (Fullerton, n. pag. ).
Online dating was formerly regarded as “the matchmaker for the awkward” (Fiore, n. pag. ). It was seen as the digital-age counterpart of joining a singles' club or posting a personals ad in the newspaper (Neils, n. pag.
).The stigma attached to online dating was so strong that it produced the belief that online dating services catered to “the lonely and the desperate...
(as well as) computer geeks with no social skills” (Neils, n. pag. ). This perception no longer holds true (Neils, n. pag. ).
In a 2003 Lycos survey of 1,100 members who did not join Matchmaker. com, 59% said that they were “likely or very likely” to avail of online dating services – a sharp increase from 29% two years ago (Neils, n. pag. ).
Only 12% intended to use newspaper personals (Neils, n. ag. ).Meanwhile, a July 2002 study conducted by Udate. com on 14,833 of its members (6,204 women and 8,629 men) revealed that 68% of the respondents considered online dating better than traditional courtship and 63% believed that “they would find their ideal partner online” (Neils, n. pag.
). Online dating sites work by “matching technology and profiles” (Neils, n. pag. ). Users can create profiles about themselves, which includes information about the type of person that they want to have a relationship with (Neils, n.
pag. ).The site would then proceed to look for common matches between the seeker and the sought (Neils, n. pag. ).
There are even some online dating sites that are exclusively geared towards a certain age, religion or sexual preferrence (Neils, n. pag. ). Online dating sites usually offer free trial memberships, which enable users to register, post profiles, specify match criteria and send and receive emails (Neils, n. pag. ).
At the end of the free trial period (normally after a month), users are required to pay a monthly fee to maintain their subscription (Neils, n. pag. ).At present, “almost every ISP and major global portal has their own online dating site or an affiliation with one” (Neils, n.
pag. ). Websites such as Yahoo! , MSN, Earthlink, Verizon and AOL now have links to online personals that many singles consider to be just as important as links to news, sports, recreation or shopping (Neils, n. pag. ). Some independent online dating sites even went on to become reputable agencies on the Internet (Neils, n.
pag. ). Udate. com bought Kiss. com in 2002, turning the former into the world's second larget online dating website (the largest is Ticketmaster's Match. om) (Neils, n.
pag. ). In 2003, Match. com boasted of “more than 653,000 paying subscribers and more than five million members with profiles posted” (Neils, n. pag.
).As of June 2002, the top six US-based online dating agencies were reported to have a combined membership of more than 30 million (Neils, n. pag. ). It is highly probable that these figures will increase. It was predicted in 2003 that enrollment in online dating sites will increase by over 60 million (Neils, n.
pag. ). The goal of finding one's true love is indeed a very powerful motivator – Match. om's 653,000 members pay as much as $24. 95 a month for its services (2003) (Neils, n. pag.
). Online dating became increasingly popular due to its various advantages (Neils, n. pag. ).
Anyone who has access to a computer with an Internet connection can engage in online dating (Neils, n. pag. ).With just one click, members of online dating sites can choose a future partner from any country (Neils, n. pag.
). Time zones and schedule constraints are not a problem – users can message each other any time of the day or night (Neils, n. ag. ). In addition, online dating removes any inhibitions about a person's physical appearance (Neils, n. pag.
). Online dating doesn't require one to look good or to be properly dressed (Neils, n. pag. ). Unlike in other singles functions such as blind dates, members can contact and make a good impression on one another despite bad-hair days, outdated clothes, foul moods and or acne breakouts (Neils, n. pag.
). Many singles who are into online dating render it cheaper comapred to traditonal dating in the long run (Neils, n. pag. ).Most members of online dating sites avail of unlimited Internet access packages, allowing them to say sweet nothings for hours on end without having to deal with very huge telephone bills (Neils, n.
pag. ). Furthermore, online conversations enable users to immediately detect incompatibilities between them and their online date before spending on offline dating particulars such as drinks, dinners, movies and gifts (Neils, n. pag. ). Dealing with rejection and turning down an undesirable match is easier within the realm of online dating (Neils, n.
pag. ).If a user is not interested in a particular date, he or she can just send an email expressing his or her disapproval (Neils, n. pag.
). He or she can also ignore or even block unwanted messages (Neils, n. pag. ). On the other hand, being rejected through email is more bearable compared to a look of disgust or a slap in the face (Neils, n. pag.
). Online dating is also seen as a better alternative to bars and clubs (Neils, n. pag. ). Despite the trendy exterior of most bars and clubs, they have gained the reputation of being dark, dangerous and expensive – the place to be when one is looking for a fling or a short-term relationship (Neils, n.
ag. ).Hence, singles (especially those who are seeking long-term relationsips) who want to meet other single people minus the loud music, cigarette smoke and alcohol resort to online dating (Neils, n. pag.
). The anonymity offered by online dating sites makes it relatively safer than other conventional ways of meeting partners (Neils, n. pag. ). Online daters usually disclose just their email addresses and their Internet aliases (Neils, n. pag.
). Doing so more or less protects them from meeting individuals of shady character (Neils, n. pag. ).Through users' profiles, online dating can help one pinpoint the specific traits that he or she wants in a partner (Neils, n. pag.
). Some online dating sites provide members the option of displaying their profiles only to certain groups (Neils, n. pag. ). As a result, they no longer have to go through the trouble of enduring a four-hour date only to discover their potential match's undesirable traits afterwards (Neils, n. pag.
). However, online dating is not without disadvantages. Its fast-paced nature often results in a distorted sense of chemistry.Users can consider themselves acquainted, though falsely, with their potential matches by reading a summary of their character that was made by just a few keystrokes (Neils, n. pag. ).
As a result, they build unrealistic expectations that, when proven otherwise, gives them an unwanted sense of disappointment (Neils, n. pag. ). The anonymous quality of online dating sites renders it condusive to dishonesty (Neils, n. pag. ).
To increase their chances of finding a suitable partner, members frequently misrepresent themselves in their profiles (Neils, n. pag. ).Hence, when they personally meet for the first time, they realize that they have been deceived – a woman who wrote in her profile that she was young and pretty, for instance, actually turns out to be middle-aged and ugly (Neils, n.
pag. ). To avoid this scenario, online safety experts recommend that online daters conduct a thorough background check on their possible matches (Neils, n. pag. ).
By obtaining the correct name of their potential date, online daters “can visit the county courthouse and search for marriage licenses, divorce records and criminal histories (including felonies and domestic violence)” (Neils, n. ag. ).They can also “do a few quick Google searches with a minimal amount of accurate information and foil liars early on.
.. (by uncovering their) work and educational history among other things” (Neils, n. pag. ).
Online daters may be safe when they just communicate with each other through the Internet. But they may get themselves into dangerous situations when they provide personal information and or finally meet in person (Neils, n. pag. ).
Online safety experts therefore advise online daters to exercise common sense and good judgment when meeting up with their potential partners both online and offline (Neils, n. pag. ). It is true that online dating is fun, efficient and cheap.
But it doesn't follow that online dating is a shortcut to “happily ever after. ” In the end, a satisfying relationship is still built on love, trust, honesty and respect – qualities that can only be discovered and developed through time and real-life interaction and not by spending a couple of hours in front of the computer.
