My life changing decision wasn’t exactly a decision I made for myself. In 2011 I walked into Wal-Mart with a friend and left with a police officer behind me leading me to his car in cuffs. That day was the first day of the rest of my life. I was on my way to the Illinois Department of Corrections, better known as prison.
Sometimes when people end up in prison they decide it is time to change their life. Before I went to prison my life was all about getting high. On a daily basis I was going out and getting high on meth without even really caring what was going on at my house.My drug use led to me spending all my money so I started stealing to get my high.
Because i spent all my money I was no longer able to pay my rent or my bills which lead to me getting evicted. I had hit rock bottom but I still wasn’t able to give up my drug use. When i got evicted my daughters fathers family let me and my daughter move in with them and I was trying to make them believe that everything was okay with me. Never did I imagine that there was a plan for my life that was being set in place every day.On August 16, 2011 I woke up and it was a normal day, I walked into Wal-Mart with my daughters’ cousin and my daughter. Less than an hour later I was saying good bye to my daughter knowing it was the last time for a while that I was going to get to see her.
I was being arrested for theft, spending seventeen months away from everyone. While I was in prison, although the first few months I thought it was the worst possible place for me, I learned that I could be a better person. I used every resource they had to learn how to stay clean, be a better mom, and to say no to steal.The first few months I spent in my cell going through a detox getting all the drugs from my system and not really focusing on the big picture. After all the drugs were out of my system and I was no longer having night sweats and dreams of getting high I signs up for college classes, parenting classes, and a drug program.
While each class was different they were all trying to help me with the same thing. While my first college credits were awarded to me while I was in prison they still helped me realize that there is a life after everything.While I took classes during the day I was in a parenting class at night that taught me that not only is it not okay to yell at a young child that it damages them. These classes taught me to get down to my daughters’ level and explain what she did and why it was wrong. I also learned that being a good parent means to be there and not push her off onto someone else, although it is okay to take a break and get a baby sitter every once in a while.
When my daytime classes were over I was put into a drug program that helped me channel all my anger into something else and say no to the drugs.Along with saying no to drugs i also learned to say no to walking into a store and stealing things. Now when I run into the people I used to use with I have the power to walk away and not think twice about my decision. Since I have been home I have done everything I can to make sure that I stay on the right path.
I have said no more than once to a temptation. I have also been able to walk away when it came to wanting something that I couldn’t afford at a store.Now when it comes to wanting to get high or wanting to steal something I go back to the day my dad left with my daughter and I had to stay at the prison and watch them leave. Since being home I have also put into use all the tips that I learned in my parenting class.
Now that I am sober I don’t feel the need to be away from my little girl and she doesn’t get yelled at nearly as much. There are still times when she pushes my buttons and I get upset but I make sure that if i do yell at her i explain what she did was wrong and I apologize for yelling.Most of the time when people hear the words, I’ve been to prison, I get weird looks and get told my life is over. That’s not true though, I believe my life has just begun.
The way I look at my past life and now is prison changed my life and has possibly even saved it. Prison helped me not only learn how to stay clean or be a better parent, but it also helped me learn how to say no to stealing. Although I don’t recommend that anyone go to prison I do believe that if I wouldn’t have gone to prison I would not be the person I am today. View as multi-pages
