The past year has been a very pivotal year for me in the sense of character building. This past winter, I matured as a person and learned to deal with the difficulties of life and the mortality of my being. Mother is a nurse who practically drags women to the hospital insisting they have regular checkups. We already knew that she suffered from diabetes and we had that under control.
What we did not know, was that her body was being attacked by cancer in the colon and ovaries. The shock deafeningly reverberated through our closely-knit family.Our self-denial was even stronger when the doctors gave mother a death sentence. She sadly, is estimated to have only 5 years to live. Being the son closest to mother, I told her I would be quitting school to take care of her.
She would not hear of it. I argued that as her son, it was my duty and obligation to take care of her. She insisted that if I left school, I would hasten her death. She won. As any child of a parent with cancer will tell you, there is no way you can keep your mind on schoolwork while you know and see how debilitated she is physically and mentally after each treatment.My schoolwork and I were suffering with her.
My grades began a downward spiral and I lost interest in all social activities as I fought inner demons and came to terms with the rapid changes in my life. My family needs me to be there for emergencies and that means leaving school sometimes weeks on end. While on the outside I had a brave and strong front, the truth was I was crumbling inside. Mother saw everything that was happening to me and knew I needed guidance. Even though she sometimes was in terrible shape, her attitude and outlook has never have been better.
She taught me how to deal with the situation in her own way, just like she always does. She always reiterates how all she wants is for all her children to live and achieve. I know that there is no cure for my mother and the way I was living my life was giving her unnecessary stress. Mother made her wishes clear to all of us. We can help her prepare for the inevitable by preparing ourselves for the loss and letting her know, while we still can that we will all be fine after she is gone.
This event made me realize and appreciate my parents more and realize that they will not be forever with us. I have cleaned up my act and started repairing the damage done to my academic standing as well as my social activities. If my father should become gravely ill in the future, I will be able to handle it better. That is because mother is showing me that death teaches you how to value life and the time you have to spend with others.
