Interpersonal communication suffers when one is not being mindful of the other participants’ views.
It is through proper communication (that is, listening and input) that interpersonal communication does what it is supposed to do; mainly inform. This is the message which the Dalai Lama makes in his writings, Instructions for Life in the New Millennium. Interpersonal communication is chiefly about the expression of person views and opinions. Such vigor in expression through interpersonal communication cannot help but have counter opinions and views brought to the conversation.
It is important to realize that discussion is not a battle; altercations are not arguments but a chance to see someone else’s viewpoint. The Dalai Lama expresses this in his Instructions, “When you lose, don’t lose the lesson” (The Dalai Lama). Thus, the point of communicating, in any regard, is to learn something new; whether it is a lesson or an opinion. When expressing ardent views in interpersonal communication, many discussions become heated arguments, these are hard to avoid.In such instances, when two opposing view points are well argued, and strongly believed, friendships become tested.
On this subject the Dalai Lama states, “Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship” (The Dalai Lama). Thus, one must ever mindful of the other person’s weak points as well as their strong points as a person, and to not approach an altercation with the sole purpose of desiring to inflict harm. The point is to allow the other person to gain a new perspective, not to dogged insult their perspective, but to lead them to the right conclusions.In respect to this last sentiment, it must also be expressed that in interpersonal communication, change is inevitable.
While the purpose of communicating may sometimes be to express one’s own views (as already stated) it is also mindful to gain new perspectives, “Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values” (The Dalai Lama). Thus, in respecting other’s values and accepting change when it comes, healthy interpersonal communication exists.
