Breaking up or Death, Emotionally Different? Some individuals are more vulnerable when dealing with loss. Loss can be perceived different ways. One can define loss in conjunction with the dissolution of a romantic relationship. Alternatively it can be related to death. People would classify both losses differently; however, the emotions involved are parallel.
The pain associated with both is very much comparable.Robert Meyer quotes Moore and Fine in their work "Meaning Reconstruction and the Experience of Loss," when he says, "mourning s the mental process by which man's psychic equilibrium is restored following the loss of a meaningful love object... It is a normal process to any significant loss. With time the individual adapts to the loss and renews his or her capacity for pleasure" (16).
In other words, confronting emotions enables people to overcome their pain. Losing a loved one to death is one of the worst feelings imaginable. The emotions following the loss can be explained as painful and heart aching, making a person want to die.One may believe there is no worse pain, for the pain is not Just emotional but physical. Kathleen Dunne's article "Grief and Its Manifestations" states, "Bowls theory of attachment is concerned with the attachments and bonds that are developed early in life and have a foundation for security and survival for the individual. " Notably death severs this bond, so the threat to security and survival inflicts grief.
Additionally, the grief and pain are experienced after the dissolution of a romantic relationship. The termination of a romantic bond is heart wrenching. Furthermore, the agony that follows feels even worse.Again, there is the emotional turmoil associated with the grief of the loss.
Morton Templeton uses a variety of words describing the torment regarding the dissolution of a once meaningful association in the poem, "Agony and Pain of Love Lost: Betrayal of Lost Love": My heart has been ripped from my chest the pain and agony has left a gaping wound only a black hole remains no beginning no ending You left did not say a word You left stole my soul You left tore my heart from my chest My heart held all of me my essence my hopes my desires pieces have been scattered across the universe.Vultures have shredded what pieces they found The carrion eaters have consumed me. Will they now rise o see the universe through me Nicholas Separator's Hurt states the abandonment by a significant other can be a devastating and crushing blow to one's integrity and security, unleashing a Pander's Box of very intense and painful emotions (7). Separator also believes that time heals all wounds.Ask those who have suffered a loss similar to yours, and they will all tell you the same thing- " It took a while, but I got over it " (23). In essence, the pain suffered by death or love loss is equally debilitating.
Embarking a person into an unfamiliar state, discovering ways to pick up and position he scattered pieces of emotions, slowly and carefully, hence, learning to become whole again.
