The choice of contacting birth parents has always been controversial and emotionally charged as far as adopted children are considered. In conservative approaches of closed adoption, birth parents' identity remains secret and their relationships with the adopted child discontinue after the completion of adoption process. Now open adoptions are common, which allow a certain level of relationship between adopted child and birth parents. According to me, adopted children should have a choice to keep their relationships with their biological parents.
Latest studies show that the preference of closed adoption is becoming less every year. Societal and cultural norms of last century had made closed adoption a viable choice; some of the underlying concepts behind selection of this option included one or more of the following listed reasons::Even though the above arguments seem to be strong enough to convince that the connection of child to the birth parents should not be allowed, but in real life situations, these assumption are not always applicable. The arguments in favor of the child association with birth parents after adoption offset the above assumptions of closed adoption.The most practical reason for continuing this relationship is medical and genetic information of biological parents.
The adoptee child is prone to the genetic diseases like heart problems, diabetics, cancer, and other blood diseases which transferred through generations. The family medical records provide awareness to the adoptive family and the child himself, for future medical and insurance concerns. Ignorance from such crucial medical facts can lead the life of the child to extreme dangers. Unknown medical and psychological history of birth families also created a hindrance in completion of jobs documentation in future.
Besides the above practical rationale, numerous emotional reasons are available in favor of the connection of adoptee with birth parent/s. The unknown birth details and lack of parents' knowledge can create a disconnection in child's life. If adoptive parents try to hide the details of child's original family, their relationship with the child will spoil and generate disagreements in future.The psychological impacts of the non knowledgeable child are become worse in closed adoptions, as in absence of correct information, child can imagine wrong scenarios. He/she starts living with own assumptions and ideas which can be harmful for the shaping of his/her personality. Unnatural attitudes like shyness, introversion, or even extreme harshness can overshadow the real pleasant attributes of personality.
Therefore, sharing the truth with adoptee, even unpleasant in reality, it will provide a real foundation for the future career building.According to Allen (2003), the adoption process should be attractive to prospective adoption families, the 'open adoption practices' allow both adoptive and birth parents to meet face to face, exchange family and medical records, and establish a 'future post adoption relationship' to contribute positively in the personality building of adoptee. In this way, the accountability of adoptive families increased and they have to mange their routines to provide maximum facilities to the child. The old domestic closed adoptions also created many violence and mistreatment issues in the society.In reality, it is also true that sharing the information of birth parents with the child is largely dependent on the adoptive family.
If the family feels secured and realizes the sharing of this information with the child, adoptee is normally told at some point in life. In this case, adoptive parents judge the right period of child's life when he/she is mature enough to absorb this information and is able to make right decisions. Some adoptive families also select the option of continuous relationships with birth parents, ion this case the adoptee is brought up under the supervision of both families. This option can build the families' and child's mutual trust and confidence.As far as the adoptee is considered, after gaining the trust of adoptive parents and accessing the correct information can better decide about the relationship with biological parents. If he/she lives happily in new family and does not feel the need of searching or meeting original parents, then the choice will be easy.
Even if the contact is necessary to meet the medical requirements or to satisfy the emotional desires, it would be easy for both the families to have a sustainable relationship in future without disturbing the life setting. Adoptee feels more secure and informative about the family history, and can lead a confident and prosperous life. At this moment, the cooperation of adoptive family is necessary to facilitate difficult decision making situation of the child.The interests of birth parents should also be in focus, as birth parents even the single mothers are more aware and free of societal pressure in new millennium.
They also feel the ultimate desire to keep in touche with their child after adoption, as it is a great loss especially for the birth mother. She feels fear of losing the child forever, and sometimes cannot compensate this feeling of loss cannot be compensated throughout her life. Open adoption and the right of the child to meet her in future also secured the rights of birth parents. In new social laws, the birth parents have more rights and privileges than ever before. Therefore, the adoption agencies and the prospective adoptive parents should acknowledge the rights of birth parents over the adoptee.In addition to the child's interests, of course, birth mothers have concerns too, and they ought to count for something.
If a woman keeps her baby, no one questions her right and need to be near that baby. It seems cruel to me to say that if she cannot keep the child - and the decision to surrender a baby is possibly the most painful one that a parent can make - then she must move on with her life as though the whole relationship had never happened. After I gave birth, my whole body knew that my son should be there, and my heart was broken to have to say goodbye forever.In conclusion, above arguments rightfully proved the need of long term and trusted relationships between birth and adoptive families. As a result, adoptee gains appropriate information and access rights to the biological parents in order to satisfy the medical, psychological, and emotional needs.
Both families should decide the level of child contact in future at the time of adoption, so that they can build and protect the wellbeing of child's personality.