In reading the article “Close Relationships Sometimes Mask Poor Communication” I was intrigued by the information that was given, the article touched on some important issues about relationships and how when you are communicating with your spouse, lover, or fiance how we automatically assume that there is a mutual understanding, or that we automatically no.
But more than half of the time you find yourself upset that you couldn’t get your point across or that your counter parts just doesn’t listen, that’s when the statement “that’s why we argue so much”, comes into play. When the truth is that we are just not understanding each other either I am speaking while he’s speaking or he just stop listening altogether until I say something to touch a nerve. I have had several arguments with my fiance because when we are having a discussion it seems to almost always go to the left.
I have tried to explain to him my feelings on this matter that’s been like a thorn in our sides since we began dating, I can’t get him to understand how important it is for my children to see their father and I express a good healthy relationship without the arguing and fighting, but each and every time my ex-husband comes around my fiance and I always fight because he thinks that my ex-husband wants to rekindle a relationship or have an altered motive. When I try to explain to my fiance that there’s nothing of the sort I find myself saying all of the wrong things and making all of the wrong points which in the end makes the situation worse.
My fiance and I are really still learning each other and communication seems to be our weakest point although I try be very clear on the points that I’m trying to make it seems as if we are really from two different plants “Women are from Mars” This is the statement he makes to me when I’m trying to explain how I am feeling about something we are discussing. There have been many of occasions where we both felt like we had to reach out to someone one the outside of our relationship to get a better understanding of what point we trying to get across.
How can you make sure that this kind of miscommunication does not happen in the future? In going forward in my relationship I will listen before I speak and try to allow him to get his point across and maybe even take notes on the argument so that I won’t forget the point that I am trying to make when it’s my turn to speak. If it does happen again, and I am almost sure it will, the only way that I could make my communication more clear is to try and stop speaking, take a step back regroup and hope that will be a better step in future communicating with one another.